c. 1996 Religion News Service

(Andrew M. Greeley is a Roman Catholic priest, best-selling novelist and a sociologist at the University of Chicago National Opinion Research Center. His home page on the World Wide Web is at http://www.agreeley.com. Or contact him via e-mail at agreel(AT)aol.com.)

(UNDATED) Whenever something terrible happens, media vultures descend on the families of the victims to record their grief and anger. And in the aftermath of the recent crash of the TWA jetliner, many of the bereaved have directed their rage not only at presumed terrorists, but also at the government, which is somehow made responsible for everything.

The families of the TWA crash victims want an explanation of what happened now. They want the bodies retrieved now. They want the terrorists punished now, even though no solid proof has yet emerged that terrorists were involved.

Such demands are understandable in the wake of a tragedy, but rage doesn’t heal anything. They must move beyond rage to forgiveness. It is the only cure for pain.

Thus when the families of murder victims Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend, Ronald Goldman, permit their lives to be consumed by the desire to punish O.J. Simpson, who they believe to be the killer, they only increase the misery. They now become victims too, their lives ruined by their determination to find revenge. They can escape the vicious cycle of destruction and self-destruction only by forgiving the perpetrator of the crimes, whoever it may be.

That’s not an easy thing to do. But did not the founder of Christianity offer us a model?”Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do,”Jesus said from the cross on which he died. How can anyone who claims to be his follower do otherwise?

Jesus was right not only on religious grounds, but on psychological grounds as well. Forgiveness is the only escape from the devastation rage does to the psyche. It is the best way to fight back against the perpetrators of evil. It deprives them of the joy they derive from their actions and offers the victim an escape from their power.

The last time I wrote about this subject, I was deluged with letters that defended revenge, approved of it, praised it. OK, if that’s the way you feel, it’s your privilege. But don’t claim to be Christian. And don’t complain when rage, like a deadly worm, eats away at your happiness and your joy.

What if the person you forgive does not want to be forgiven, does not ask forgiveness, laughs at your forgiveness?

As Jesus advised, heap coals of fire on their heads with your generosity of spirit. What’s important is not how the killer or the terrorist reacts, but how you can save yourself from the ruination of your life. Only forgiveness will do that.

Society does not take forgiveness seriously. It views those who forgive as weird and weak and those who wait eagerly for revenge as strong and good.

But how many of the relatives of murder victims really find peace by attending the execution of the killer? There is precious little satisfaction in such an experience, precious little liberation from grief and rage.

As G.K. Chesterton once remarked, Christianity has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found hard and not tried.

Pope John Paul II may have forgiven his assassin, but he’s the pope. Ordinary people rarely expect the same kind of behavior from themselves.

But there is absolutely no other way.

The deaths of the passengers on the TWA crash were mercifully short. The death of the soul many of their relatives appear to be experiencing will be life-long unless they can go beyond rage and forgive.

I feel sorry for those who died, especially the teens. I feel even more sorry for those who survive because their anger may kill them too, slowly but surely.

MJP END GREELEY