c. 1996 Religion News Service

NEW ORLEANS _ The transaction notice moved May 10 on the news wire: “Los Angeles Dodgers CF Brett Butler will miss the remainder of the season.”

A possibility, perhaps. But Brett Butler has spent most of his life proving people wrong, and he loves this kind of stuff. So it’s dangerous to hint he might not play again this season.

Butler, who underwent surgery for throat cancer May 21 followed by radiation therapy, is straining at the end of a green elastic contraption while Mackie Shilstone, the director of the Sports Performance Program at Kenner Regional Medical Center here, tosses tennis balls at him. Butler wouldn’t be chasing those balls if he didn’t think he might play.

Butler, the leadoff hitter and soul of the Dodgers, could be sitting home in suburban Atlanta. He turned 39 shortly after the cancer was discovered and could simply enjoy the rewards earned with a .291 average during an 18-year major-league career.

But he shows up five days a week, two to three hours a day, to go through exercises with Shilstone.

“I’m determined to play, because they told me I couldn’t do it,” Butler said. “I’ve been told (that) my whole life. That’s the fiber of my being. … If you’re told you can’t do it, prove them wrong.”

When doctors discovered a tumor the size of a large plum in Butler’s throat during a routine tonsillectomy and told Butler he had cancer, he said he was through playing.

“I’ve had a good career,” he said at the time.

But as he grows stronger, so does the urge to rejoin his teammates.

“At first (playing) was on the back burner, because I was more concerned with the tonsillectomy and the pain I had,” Butler said. “I mean, for nine days, I was in excruciating pain. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t swallow.”

It’s swallowing that presents the challenge du jour as Butler eyes the grilled tuna filet on the plate in front of him. It wasn’t until Butler arrived at Kenner Regional last week that a solution was found. Now he swabs a little xylocaine, an anesthetic, on the back of his throat before eating.

Butler’s eyes narrow, and he throws his game face at that tuna filet.

“I think I’m going to try it without the xylocaine today,” he announces with determination.

But after a couple of bites he excuses himself to go swab.

“This is what I’ve missed most, eating,” he said when he returned. “Just the taste of food and, actually, just trying to eat something without it burning my throat.

“I love to eat fruit. I can’t do that with all the citrus and stuff.”

As a result, Butler, who is 5-foot-10, was down to 144 pounds from his pre-surgery weight of 163 when he reported to Shilstone. He has regained five pounds in less than a week.

But staying away from fruit seems to be the only “can’t do” Butler will ‘fess up to.

He hasn’t revealed any mental scars from the cancer.

“None, absolutely none,” said Shilstone, who has worked with Butler during 10 off-seasons. “The same force that has made him a great leadoff hitter with a small body is the same thing we have to shut down temporarily to get him back.”

And back is where Butler is headed. Once doctors removed a thumb-sized lymph node, and tests revealed no malignancy in the remaining lymph nodes, he turned his competitive nature toward overcoming the cancer.

“The first thing you think about is death _ `Well, I’m going to die; I’m going to die,’ ” Butler said of his first reaction to the cancer. “From there you get the fear factor.

“For me, being a born-again Christian, it was, `OK, Lord, what the heck’s going on?’ I was only 38 years old, and I really had to get my thoughts and my wits about me. Once I was able to do that, we were able to deal with it.”

“It” included 32 doses of radiation treatment over six weeks. The radiation turned the right side of his neck beet-red.

“This is great, compared to the way it looked when I first got down here,” Butler said. “It’s going to be with me. Probably every time I go outside, I’m going to have to put sunscreen on. Right now, I can’t even go outside and swim with my kids without putting something on.

“Playing golf, or something like that, I wear a hat, I put my collar up, so that it doesn’t burn me over. Even with all that, I’ve come in and taken a shower, and three and four layers of skin have come off my neck.”

He said he has learned to live with the cancer. He will feel its presence when he is examined every month, gradually tapering to yearly checkups.

Tests have revealed no cancer in Butler’s blood.

“The life is in the blood,” he said. “So if there’s no cancer cells, that’s a positive for me.”

The only speed bump to the workouts is the nerve damage the radiation caused to his right _ nonthrowing _ shoulder. Even that had its good news. There was no rotator cuff damage.

“With the nerve damage, all you can really do is just let it come back on its own,” Butler said. “It’s not like a pulled muscle or a strain, where you work it back into shape.”

Except for the weight loss, Shilstone said there hasn’t been a noticeable drop-off in Butler’s physical condition.

“Body weight is an issue. I’ve seen him come up from 144. He’s up five pounds since he’s been here, so his body wants the weight. But other people would have quit on this. I know other athletes who would have quit. His will is his strongest attribute.”

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And that will might yet push Butler into a Dodgers uniform this season. Shilstone said Butler might get outside for some running.

“We might even let him do some base running (during batting practice) with the Zephyrs,” he said, referring to the New Orleans Zephyrs, the Milwaukee Brewers’ minor league team.

So Butler will chase the tennis balls and go through all the other baseball-related exercises Shilstone throws at him.

“Actually, I’m better than I thought I would be,” he said. “The big thing was my throat, and that’s getting better. I’ll know in four or five weeks if it is going to be a reality or not. But I can’t put a timetable on it. All I can do is work back to that position.

“My foremost concern, though, is my health. I’m dealing with that first. If I can get my immune system built up, and I can deal with all of those things, everything else is gravy. Then, if I can get back and play and help the club, that’d be great. I’m not going to go back if I can’t help the club.”

Butler went back to the tuna filet. Eventually, a cleaned plate lay before him. Another challenge was behind, and the Dodgers eagerly waited ahead.

MJP END BARROUQUERE