c. 1997 Religion News Service

(Andrew M. Greeley is a Roman Catholic priest, best-selling novelist and a sociologist at the University of Chicago National Opinion Research Center. Check out his home page at http://www.agreeley.com, or contact him via e-mail at agreel(at)aol.com.)

UNDATED _ Amy Biehl was an effervescent, blond Stanford graduate and an American Fulbright scholar in South Africa active in voter education campaigns leading to that country’s first post-apartheid election in April 1994.

She was admired and loved by the young black people with whom she worked. But one evening after driving some of her colleagues home to a black township, she was dragged from her car, stoned and stabbed to death by four young black men whose hatred for white people had been stirred up at a rally of the Pan African Congress.

They had been searching for white person to kill and they found Amy Biehl. At their trial they shouted their defiance and justified their actions on the grounds that whites had stolen their country. They were proud they had killed a white woman. The four were sentenced to 18 years in prison and in some quarters they continue to be hailed as heroes.

In many instances, that is where the story would end. But not in South Africa, and not for the family of Amy Biehl.

In South Africa, a Truth and Reconciliation Commission _ headed by Desmond Tutu, the Nobel Peace Prize winner and retired Anglican archbishop of Cape Town _ is trying to sort out the past and point the country toward a peaceful future, including the use of amnesty for perpetrators of political violence during the apartheid era. The desired end is reconciliation.

The four men convicted of Biehl’s murder have appealed to the commission for such an amnesty on the grounds their action was a political one. Perhaps they will be released and then celebrated for the rest of their lives because they killed a defenseless white woman.

The point of this column, however, is not that racial hatred runs in both directions _ in South Africa and everywhere else. Rather, it is about the aftermath of the Biehl killing and the lesson it provides in the hard work of forgiveness.

Biehl’s parents _ Peter and Linda Biehl _ came to South Africa for the hearings of the commission on the case involving their daughter. Carefully, they neither asked for amnesty or demanded that it be withheld from their daughter’s murderers because, they said, that was a decision for South Africans, not Americans. Nevertheless, they said they would not oppose the amnesty.

Moreover, the Biehls visited the parents of the killers, embraced their relatives in the courtroom, and even shook hands with the killers themselves. They have set up a foundation in South Africa to continue their daughter’s work.”It’s liberating to forgive,”Peter Biehl said.”We can sleep at night and we can feel totally at ease. You can’t do that if you’re harboring hate or anger … There are plenty of things in my life I would like to be forgiven for.””In my own heart,”Linda Biehl added,”I never felt angry. You’ve got to realize that Amy was a big part of our lives. It was important for us to share in what Amy was. We would rather Amy was here, but some good can come from this … Why should we allow these guys to stop the rest of our lives?” One begins to understand the bravery of Amy Biehl after hearing the words of her parents. I have no idea what the family’s religion is. But Amy Biehl was a martyr to the causes of racial justice and American idealism because she had parents like that.

Moreover, their forgiveness and their determination to turn grief into something constructive is an object lesson for the families of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman and for all those who are screaming for the blood of convicted Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh: if you want to sleep at night, if you want to feel at ease, if you want to save the rest of your life, then you must forgive.

Vengeance does not give purpose to the death of the person you loved, but forgiveness does. Both religion and psychological common sense confirm these insights. The response of the Biehl’s is the Christian response even if they happen not to be Christians.

It is also the wise response because forgiveness is the only way to live.

Is it easy for them to face their daughter’s killers without rancor? Hardly. Forgiveness is essential, but it is always difficult. Moreover it is ongoing, not just one act of the will. You must forgive every day of your life when a person who was a part of your life is snatched away from you by someone who seems evil.

Even after you’ve done it for years, it is still hard every morning when you wake up and remember.

I have my own problems with forgiveness of much lesser offenses and have failed often. Yet because I am a follower of Jesus of Nazareth, I know I have no choice but to forgive. Those who claim to be Christian and yet refuse to forgive simply do not understand what he said and did.

DEA END GREELEY