c. 1997 Religion News Service

(Tom Ehrich is an Episcopal priest in Winston-Salem, N.C., an author and former Wall Street Journal reporter. E-mail him at journey(at)interpath.com)

UNDATED _ I worked hard yesterday. My day started at 5 a.m. with prayer and writing, then eight hours at the office, a meeting on ministry, an hour of research and an hour of phone calls.

So it wasn’t until today that I opened a thick letter from something called the American Anglican Council. On four-color letterhead dominated by the roster of trustees, the Episcopal bishop of Dallas invited me (along with everyone else on whatever list he bought) to join an effort”to restore the Church to its historic mission.” Frustrated by what it calls divisions, mismanagement and scandal in the church, this new group issued a”call to mission,”grounded in”confessing the biblical and catholic faith, supporting the local congregation (and) obeying the Great Commission.” I read materials produced at great expense. I was pleased they mentioned the poor, included female clergy and didn’t sink to gay-bashing. But they made me weary. Or, I should say, I was already weary, and this invitation did nothing to lighten my spirit.

I actually agreed with much of what they said. But I have been in the trenches, and I know the death-spirit that exists in the Episcopal Church _ and in every denomination, renewed, restored or otherwise _ isn’t about structure, mission statements, theology or presiding bishops.

The death-spirit is about us and the brokenness in our lives that we project onto the church and allow it to corrupt church life.

We are the ones who demand first-class service but give a fraction of the biblical tithe. We are the ones who snarl when a liturgy doesn’t suit us, or glare when a child makes noise during worship, or insist on getting our way, or refuse to be taught.

We are prideful. We parade our titles as if they were badges issued by God. We assert our correctness as if our being right were the center of the body of Christ. We judge those who diverge from our norms. We toss around terms like”biblical”and”catholic”as if they were weapons. We take pride in majestic structures as if Jesus meant nothing when he said,”Blessed are you who are poor.” Personally, I don’t yearn for a perfected church. My needs are more basic. I want to see Jesus. I want to own my sins in the knowledge that I will be forgiven. I want to raise my voice in song, not argument. I want to look at the worries of my life and know that God stands with me, and these burdens aren’t the measure of my life.

In worship, I want to hold my son _ not a prayer book that has been fought over until every comma bespeaks conflict, but my son, my 5-year-old boy, whose cheek next to mine creates a sounding board that makes my voice sound more full.

Maybe there are people who begin and end each day worrying about doctrine and the need for”a great awakening of our church to its ancient heritage and its immediate opportunity,”as the bishop of Dallas seems to think. Maybe our salvation does depend on preserving”orthodoxy”and resisting the church’s”gradual drift from Christian mission toward advocacy and social activism.”Maybe God does care about the correct wording of creeds and right opinion on sexuality issues.

But I doubt it.

From my travels, both in the church and out, I think people are dealing with far more than”classical Prayer Book tradition.”People are dealing with life and death, with jobs that seem fragile, bills they can’t pay, children who seem endangered, marriages that require work, and wealth that hasn’t bought peace.

If given nothing else, some people will argue about church, the way others will argue about President Clinton’s haircut or the designated-hitter rule. But as sociologist Ed Friedman said of religious communities, people fuss at church because something isn’t going right at home.

Rather than encourage this avoidance of real-life needs, church leaders ought to be sitting in our homes and laying hands on the joys and sorrows of life.

MJP END EHRICH