c. 1998 Religion News Service

(Rabbi Rudin is the national interreligious affairs director of the American Jewish Committee.)

UNDATED _ The other day the Rev. John T. Pawlikowski, a professor at Chicago’s Catholic Theological Union, and I were in a taxi headed for the Boston airport after taping a TV program at the Harvard Divinity School.

As soon as we entered the cab, the driver immediately noticed my friend’s clerical collar, and as often happens in such cases, the cabby began a monologue that soon became a personal confession.

The middle-aged driver tightly gripped the steering wheel, and his anguished remarks were uttered with great difficulty:”Father, I was raised a Catholic, but I lost my faith when my brother, Joe, was born with cerebral palsy. Because he suffered and suffered, I didn’t believe in God. Finally, after living 50 years of terrible pain, Joe passed away a few years ago. Since then I’ve sort of returned to the church, I go to Mass, but I am still very angry. I’m angry that God made my brother, my whole family, suffer so much.” Father John responded in a quiet voice:”Doubt is always part of faith. You and your family have endured pain that few of us will ever know. Tell me about your brother.” The driver relaxed when he heard the priest’s friendly tone, and the words quickly poured out:”He couldn’t walk during his life. My mother, who is still living, had to feed him every day with a fork and spoon. The window of his room was lowered so Joe could look out into the world because he had to lie down all the time. We had to carry him all over the house. Fifty years. It was awful.” Because it was raining, Jimmy, the driver, slowly maneuvered his cab through the heavy rush-hour traffic. When he discovered I was a rabbi, he became extremely talkative, realizing he had the undivided attention of two clergy for an extended period of time.”Rabbi, my brother could only speak in a grunt and I learned to listen to him closely. He once told me he hated being treated `like an animal’ by people. He and I had our special joke. Our eyes would meet whenever someone spoke very slowly to Joe in a loud voice, like he was deaf and didn’t understand English. It was degrading. He understood everything.” I echoed Pawlikowski’s belief that doubt is a basic, permanent part of mature faith, and I said,”Jimmy, if people tell you why God inflicted your brother with cerebral palsy, if they give you a pat answer, don’t believe them. Your faith and your doubt are too important to be trivialized with easy answers.””Rabbi, my poor brother loved to watch ice hockey on TV. He was a big fan of the Bruins, especially when Bobby Orr was on the team. Whenever Orr did something good, with great effort Joe would push his shoulders forward in enthusiasm. It was his way of rooting for the team.”Joe couldn’t open his hands, and my mother always put towels under his fingers to open up his fists a little bit. Joe really loved life. But after so many years, he just got tired. I mean they did all kinds of things to keep him alive. I remember the last time I carried him into the hospital.””What happened then?”I asked.”I asked Joe if he wanted to go the whole nine yards in the hospital, to keep on fighting, to have all the medical stuff done to him. My brother strained to get the words out, and he said, `I love life.’ I was so proud of him at that moment. Fifty years of suffering, 50 years of being carried and fed, 50 years of lying next to a window, and he still loved life.” When Jimmy finished, I mentioned that one of my nieces has multiple sclerosis. The driver nodded. He knew what that means to the victim and her family.

Father John, Jimmy, and I talked some more about faith, God, and illness, and when we reached the airport, the taxi driver turned to me and said,”You are the most Christian rabbi I have ever met.””Jimmy,”I said,”what you call `Christian’ in me is really my being fully Jewish. You should meet more rabbis.” The driver smiled knowingly, and Father John told Jimmy to keep searching for faith.

Just another day of Christian-Jewish relations in these United States.

DEA END RUDIN