c. 1998 Religion News Service

(Tom Ehrich is a pastor, writer and software developer living in Winston-Salem, N.C.)

UNDATED _ Shedding load seems to happen in stages.

When we moved to this new house six months ago, we sold or gave away roomfuls of furniture, several thousand books, racks of clothing, and our desire ever to live in a large house again. I felt an abiding sense of freedom.

On Sunday I shed more load, but was left feeling uneasy, not exhilarated.

This time it was the papers, the files, the legal pads filled with research notes for unwritten books, letters I haven’t answered _ an entire box filled with good intentions.

For better or worse, the intellectual world engaging me today is on the computer screen, not the bookshelf or file cabinet. I write on the computer, meditate there, do the creative work of programming, manage finances, communicate with family and friends.

I’m still an avid reader of newspapers, magazines and books. But the two green trash bags I filled on Sunday represented a fundamental shift from paper to electrons.

It’s more than a new medium. The preacher Sunday morning reminded us that Jesus said the kingdom of God is for those who put their hand to the plow and move onward, not for those who look back. In God’s kingdom, all things are being made new, not old things being reverenced.

For me, these stacks of paper represented a looking backward, not just to the past, but to ideas that didn’t bear fruit, plans that came up short, detours in the transition from one career to another.

Letting go of them meant seeing the dead ends and detours for what they are: they led to today’s peace and health, but they are compost, not plants waiting for their season.

I think of Jesus walking ancient roads in a land where looking backward was a way of life, as it still is for many today. As he spoke of newness, the custodians of oldness were enraged. As he told new stories and gave new slants on God’s law, he found himself opposed by those who had attained power in telling ancient stories and enforcing what they claimed to be God’s immutable laws.

One day he entered the ancient city of Jericho, site of Joshua’s great victory over the Canaanites some 12 centuries before, a commercial center whose historic importance affirmed Israel’s place among the nations, a city that might once again become free if the detestable Romans could just be removed from God’s land.

Instead of bowing to the ancient story, he passed on through, stopping only to minister to a tax collector, a thoroughly modern creature whom the self-righteous detested. The sons of Abraham, said Jesus, asserted their superiority by looking backward to promises made long ago. But Zacchaeus believed here and now, and he proved it by shedding his load.

The custodians of oldness never cease their claim of righteousness. It isn’t just religious communities where people build entire careers on looking backward. Consider those who encourage addictions, those who market nostalgia, those who use the vividly remembered grievance as a weapon in marital conflict, and those who prowl law books, genealogies and”tradition”looking for stones to toss in today’s contests.

There is power to be had in looking backward. No question about it. Lots of money, too. Not to mention unlimited opportunities for reality-avoidance. Looking forward, moving on in life and letting the dead bury the dead can be painful.

Quoting ancient words is easy. Bowing before tradition is a lot more comforting than letting the past be past. Storing yesterday in the attic feels safer than saying farewell to plans that didn’t work out and moving forward into the unknown.

So we accumulate load, build bigger barns to store it, walk backwards into traffic, and, in protecting those advantages that seem to come from oldness, we miss the present and fear the future.

I hear there is a movement to smaller homes. Maybe we’ve discovered it’s less costly to buy green trash bags than to finance square footage. Maybe we’ve recognized the custodians of oldness for what they are: bullies who turn yesterday to their advantage.

Maybe _ and this would be good news indeed _ we’re ready to get on with life.

DEA END EHRICH