COMMENTARY: When the political becomes personal

c. 1998 Religion News Service (Samuel K. Atchison is an ordained minister and has worked as a policy analyst and social worker to the homeless. He currently is a prison chaplain in Trenton, N.J.) UNDATED _ As I pondered the implications of what President Clinton called his”not appropriate”relationship with Monica Lewinsky, I was reminded of […]

c. 1998 Religion News Service

(Samuel K. Atchison is an ordained minister and has worked as a policy analyst and social worker to the homeless. He currently is a prison chaplain in Trenton, N.J.)

UNDATED _ As I pondered the implications of what President Clinton called his”not appropriate”relationship with Monica Lewinsky, I was reminded of a year-old conversation on adultery my wife Fran had with our two daughters as she was putting them to bed.


She was reading the Ten Commandments and a discussion ensued surrounding the meaning of the seventh commandment,”Neither shalt thou commit adultery”(Deuteronomy 5:18):

Jael (age 7): What’s adultery?

Fran: It’s when a man or woman who is married has a girlfriend or boyfriend on the side.

(Collective gasps and horror. The conversation continues, eventually leading to the following exchange.)

Fran: What do you think would happen if I had a boyfriend on the side on Daddy?

Jael: Daddy would drop you.

Fran: What if Daddy had a girlfriend on me?

Jael: Hmm. (Pause) Then that lady would get a boyfriend on the side on Daddy.

(Taking a different tack, five year-old Danielle weighed in.)

Danielle: But Mommy, what about us?

Jael: Yeah! Who would we live with?

Fran: That’s why God doesn’t want us to commit adultery, because people get hurt _ especially the children.

Jael: What about the grandparents? Nina and Pop (my parents) would be hurt. Grandmommy and Granddaddy (Fran’s parents) would be hurt.

Danielle (frantic): What about the cousins?

By this time, both girls were weeping at the thought of the disintegration of their family. Fran consoled the children, reassuring them that Mommy and Daddy were not committing adultery and did not plan to divorce. She also reminded them that God’s word was written to warn people to do the right thing.


Jael then ended the discussion with this prescient insight:”Why don’t people listen to God? They should stay married and stay put!” Undoubtedly they should. Yet the evidence suggests that in perhaps as many as 70 percent of marriages, one or both partners fails to”stay put.” Thus we come to our nation’s president, whose marital woes mirror those of the populace. Indeed, in a way he did not anticipate, Bill Clinton feels our pain: His sin is our sin. His family problem is our family problem.

It therefore came as no surprise that, when told of Clinton’s”confession”and of the anguish experienced by his wife, Jael, now eight, said,”And what about Chelsea?” But if we share a common problem, the president, as the representative face of the nation, is also obliged to lead us to a common solution.

As Yale law professor Stephen Carter noted in a recent New York Times article, Clinton’s predicament may be”heaven-sent,”affording him an opportunity for”true repentance”while simultaneously awakening our”national conscience.”This might be accomplished by convening a nationwide town meeting to initiate a conversation on the nation’s moral code.

The president, who thrives under this format, could use his personal experience as an object lesson to discuss the causes and implications of our moral decisions, as well as pitfalls to be avoided.

To be sure, this tactic would be panned by some as too Oprah-like, a maneuver designed to facilitate national catharsis. Yet in my view it might produce several benefits.

First, it would seize control of a discussion on morality that, stimulated by the president’s behavior, is already being held in many places around the country.


Second, it would provide a teaching forum within which our young people could see the nation’s leader earnestly attempting to reverse his mistakes. As Carter noted, public opinion polls applauding Clinton’s presidential performance in spite of his character flaws send our children the wrong message.

They”teach our children that what matters most is not right or wrong but simply getting what we want.” Third, and perhaps most important, convening a national forum would both require and exact a greater level of honesty from the president than we have been privy to thus far. While Clinton and his family are certainly entitled to heal privately from their wounds, Carter is correct when he says that adultery”rips at the fundamental fabric of marriage itself and thus is ultimately a public wrong.” As such, the healing of the Clintons _ as well as that of the nation _ must have a public dimension as well. And I know two little girls who are praying that the healing will begin soon.

DEA END RNS

Donate to Support Independent Journalism!

Donate Now!