COMMENTARY: Compassion without politics

c. 1999 Religion News Service (Les Kaye is the abbot of Kannon Do Zen Meditation Center in Mountain View, Calif., and author of”Zen at Work.”He is the founder of Meditation at Work, an awareness training program for businesses.) UNDATED _ It began without my knowing, this feeling that I had to change the world, to […]

c. 1999 Religion News Service

(Les Kaye is the abbot of Kannon Do Zen Meditation Center in Mountain View, Calif., and author of”Zen at Work.”He is the founder of Meditation at Work, an awareness training program for businesses.)

UNDATED _ It began without my knowing, this feeling that I had to change the world, to stop people from doing”dumb,”harmful things, to each other, to themselves, and, mostly, to me.


My life was a crusade of trying to make them change what they said, what they did, how they behaved. I was a habitual advice giver, constantly stating my opinions and feelings, always judging and criticizing.”You must do it,”urged my deep-seated instinct.”How else will they learn from their mistakes?” It felt totally natural to me. I was completely unaware of what I was doing or how unnatural it really was.

Soon after starting meditation practice, I began to notice my frustration, realizing that nobody paid any attention to my preaching. I saw how foolish I had been, how unwise to be a constant critic.

My attitude started to shift as I understood how complaining accomplished nothing.”Shut up and do something,”I told myself. So I began engaging in volunteer work in the community, pleased that I had discovered that the”correct”way to help the world was by giving of myself.

After a few years working with several nonprofit agencies, I had not gained a sense of satisfaction; my urge to fix the world had barely diminished. But I continued volunteer work and eventually understood my problem: I wanted to create instant”fixes”and have the world adopt them permanently.

Believing I meant well, I still had been motivated by arrogance and pride. I wanted to be in control. My silent mantra had been,”Accept my advice right now and don’t ever change again!” As I began to understand my confusion, the frustration and anger diminished and I started to appreciate what”helping”really means.

The world is continuously changing; that is its fundamental nature. Any impact our actions may have is temporary. Improvements today are obsolete tomorrow. We can’t control much of anything for very long.

This reality does not mean we have to become passive about things we care about, or that we would be better off to disregard the difficulties we encounter in the world around us.


I have learned that the greatest source of personal satisfaction results when we simply try to make our best effort in each moment, in each activity, without judging or demanding that things and people behave according to our personal ideals of the way they ought to be. Our focus needs to be on helping the world rather than on trying to change it.

Recently I had a vivid image of my mind’s tendency to judge and how destructive that attitude can be. My wife and I were watching TV news on the bombing in Kosovo. The program showed a woman of Serbian descent living in the United States. She was in tears, worried, and clearly suffering. She was watching a TV interview with President Clinton.

When the president, speaking about the American pilots, said,”Our prayers go out to those brave young men and women,”the woman exclaimed:”And prayers to the Serbs! Prayers to the people of Belgrade!” I was indignant. In her appeal she had not included”and prayers to the Albanians!”I thought,”She doesn’t care about the suffering of people outside of her own family and friends.”I had no empathy for her; I shut her out of my concerns. But in a few moments I became aware of my limited view. My revised feeling was:”She is suffering; that’s all you need to know. Don’t add anything.” The rising monster of my judging and criticizing demonstrated how I was demanding a precondition for feeling compassion for someone else’s suffering. When we withhold compassion by establishing conditions for it, it signals we want to control the world, to punish others for not believing what we believe, for not living up to our ideals.

I don’t know why she did not express feelings for the Albanians. I am sure it is very complicated. But politics or the emotional bias that may arise from suffering are not reasons to withhold compassion in the presence of that suffering. Putting a judgment on the suffering of others does not fix problems. Reaching out to them without judgment has a chance of being helpful.

But we can’t know if it will be helpful, so why even think about it or believe our action will change anything?

Yet, nonjudgmental compassion is not just for”saints.”It is simply the best way to be a complete human being. Even though it has diminished, after all these years my mind’s tendency to be critical is still there. But by continuing meditation practice day after day, I am safe.


DEA END KAYE

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