COMMENTARY: The power of friendship

c. 1999 Religion News Service (Dale Hanson Bourke is publisher of RNS.) UNDATED _ Pals. Buddies. Comrades. Confidants. Any way you describe it, Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris were friends. In their relationship they found a balm for the pain of loneliness and the respect that comes from being truly understood. In most ways Klebold […]

c. 1999 Religion News Service

(Dale Hanson Bourke is publisher of RNS.)

UNDATED _ Pals. Buddies. Comrades. Confidants.


Any way you describe it, Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris were friends. In their relationship they found a balm for the pain of loneliness and the respect that comes from being truly understood.

In most ways Klebold and Harris were like any friends. They spent time together just hanging out. They didn’t have to make plans, they were there for each other. They shared their deepest secrets and worst pain. And somewhere along the way they began to plot something that grew from a fantasy into a horrible and very real plan.

Such is the power of friendship.

Under the best circumstances a friend can encourage us, discover our hidden talents and help us be more than we could ever be on our own.

But a friend can also corrupt us, drag us down, even turn us against those we love.

If we choose our friends wisely, we are better people for it. Choose badly and we will surely suffer.

In this busy world, we sometimes underestimate the importance of friendships. We are so occupied with family and work that friends often have to fit into our schedule. But when they do, it is a very special gift.

One day a friend came over to help me weed my garden. She did it not because she loved to bend over under the beating sun, but because she wanted to spend time with me. She will always have a special place in my heart because of that gesture.

My best friend from high school lives on the opposite coast. I expect to get a Christmas card from her and she will get one from me. But if we are ever within a few hundred miles of each other, we will go to extraordinary lengths to spend time together. We don’t have much in common anymore, but at one point in our lives that friendship was the most powerful relationship we had. Neither of us will ever let it go without a fight.

The Bible is mostly about how God relates to humans and humans to God. But it also spends an amazing amount of time discussing friendship. One of my favorite verses is this:”If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”(Ecclesiastes 4:10)


Even Jesus seemed to need friends when he was on Earth. His disciples were his friends and his betrayers.

And so it is with us and our friends. We can be good for one another or we can hurt one another in the deepest, darkest ways. We open up, become vulnerable and risk being truly known. It is a powerful bond.

From the latest evidence it is clear that Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris were very close friends. Had they not found each other, perhaps the tragedy of Columbine High School would never have happened. But together they fanned the individual hurts and fantasies into hideous reality. Together they found the courage to assault their classmates.

It is a reminder to all of us to choose our friends carefully and to cherish the ones we have who love us well. Among the other messages to society, it is a reminder of the power of friendship.

DEA END BOURKE

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