NEWS FEATURE: When clergy burn out, who ministers to the minister?

c. 1999 Religion News Service WOODLAND PARK, Colo. _ To Bob and Sandy Sewell, it’s a tale as familiar as any Bible story, a saga of sincerity gone sour. They know it firsthand. In the early ’80s, the couple was heavily involved in a north Dallas megachurch _ Bob as a minister of evangelism, Sandy […]

c. 1999 Religion News Service

WOODLAND PARK, Colo. _ To Bob and Sandy Sewell, it’s a tale as familiar as any Bible story, a saga of sincerity gone sour. They know it firsthand.

In the early ’80s, the couple was heavily involved in a north Dallas megachurch _ Bob as a minister of evangelism, Sandy as the senior pastor’s administrative assistant _ when the demands of ministry began to undo them.”We were teaching in front of people all the time, living the so-called good Christian life,” Sandy said.”Yet our personal lives were spiritual con artistry. We were not doing what we professed.” Their battle with burnout ultimately led the Sewells to form SonScape Re-Creation Ministries, a nonprofit organization near Woodland Park, Colo., that ministers to worn-out ministers.


Larry Magnuson has been there _ literally and figuratively. Less than a year after the young pastor left a position at his father’s church to begin his own congregation in neighboring Maple Grove, Minn., the elder Magnuson was booted from the ministry for sexually abusing adolescent boys. The 1988 scandal shattered one church and threw a pall over the promise of another.”It put us in a very difficult position,”the younger Magnuson recalled.”I needed to be a son to my dad and mom, but we were suspect in our denomination: `Is this pattern going to be passed from father to son? Can we trust Larry?'”And then when the lawsuits came, the walls went up. We really didn’t know our place. Could we continue in ministry one community away?” Those questions eventually brought the Magnusons to SonScape.

Other pastors come with other issues: addiction, perhaps, or an extramarital affair or sexual identity crisis. For many clergy, the message is muted, seeping into church and home as weariness, loneliness, depression.

For pastoral couples accustomed to proclaiming what they believe is God’s word, organizations like SonScape provide the opportunity to retune the mortal, fallible ear to that still, small voice. They provide a safe haven clergy often can’t find within the church they serve.”Denominations do not know how to deal with pastors who are struggling with a variety of issues,”Magnuson said.”It could be gambling; it could be self-doubt; it could be sexuality. Pastors are afraid to get help because, when they do, it ends up becoming a disciplinary action.”Sometimes the church that’s supposed to be there with grace and love … They shoot their wounded.” There are more than 300 ministries aimed at helping ministers operate nationwide, about a dozen in Colorado. Most cater to conservative, evangelical Christians who historically have been leery of psychotherapy.

Such help doesn’t come cheap; stays ranging from a week to 12 days can cost $1,000 to $2,500 per person, though discounts for couples and scholarships for financially strapped pastors often are available.

Some groups, like SonScape, strive to prevent burnout. Others, like psychiatrist Louis McBurney’s Marble Retreat, try to raise the phoenix from the ashes. Tucked away in the Crystal River Valley west of Aspen, Colo., the interdenominational counseling center provides intensive therapy for ministers and missionaries in crisis.”It just feels overwhelming at times; the degree of pain is just so intense,”said McBurney, a pioneer in clergy counseling who founded Marble in 1973.”Most of the people come now with a real sense of hopelessness and despair, and they’re really hurting. … We need to try to encourage laymen to become more aware of the problems of their clergy and supportive of them.” That’s the idea behind Clergy Appreciation Month, promoted each October by Colorado Springs, Colo.-based Focus on the Family since 1992.”When we survey our pastors, they talk about isolation and the fact that the dreams and the hopes and the visions they have for their church and their community are met with a great deal of apathy,”said H.B. London Jr., vice president of ministry outreach/pastoral ministries at Focus.

Pastors and spouses also complain of loneliness, London said.”It’s well-documented that pastors and their families have a difficult time establishing deep friendships … We really suggest that clergy develop collegiate relationships with one another and friendships outside the church.” Ministers also say they feel inadequate at dealing with societal ills and don’t know how to combat disinterest in the church.”It used to be that church/synagogue/parish was the hub around which everything revolved,”London said.”Now it’s just one of many things that revolve around the busyness of life.” Job security is another issue. In a Focus survey, 30 percent of pastors said they had been fired at least once. Some become victims of internal politics that predate their arrival at a congregation.”The big issue in most churches is, `Who has been in control here?'”said Sandy Sewell, who founded SonScape with husband Bob in 1984.”The attitude of some congregations is `We own the church, we own the parsonage, and as long as you’re here, we own you,'”Bob Sewell added.

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Although studies show ministers report high job satisfaction, studies also detail the negative aspects of the profession.


Of pastors who responded to a Focus on the Family questionnaire, 95 percent had been discouraged in the past six months; 45 percent had felt burned out.

In a 1991 survey by the Fuller Institute of Church Growth, 80 percent of pastors said their ministry negatively affected their family, with 33 percent declaring it an”outright hazard”to family life. Seventy percent said they have a lower self-image than when they started as ministers. The same percentage said they did not have a close friend.”The dropout rate of clergy in America is almost epidemic at this time,”London said.”A lot of the burnout is a result of the church being filled with people who feel entitled. They have become consumers. … Rather than say, `What can I do for the church?’ the majority of people say, `What can the church do for me?'” (END OPTIONAL TRIM)

The Sewells said their crisis began when their egos got caught up _ first in feeling called by God, then in being needed by their human flock _ to the detriment of their relationship with one another and their two daughters.”This sense of egotism justifies your own work, this idea you are so needed by others,”Sandy said. “I used to love being approached with `Brother Bob, we know how busy you are, but …’ That was music to my ears,”Bob added.”If it’s true that the devil fell from heaven, he must have fallen into our DayTimers.” Increasingly weary, they found themselves at Marble Retreat in early 1984.”We had come to a place with all of this where we knew we had to change our life and our ministry,”Bob said.”We were wrestling with what we were going to do with our lives.” McBurney met that question with another: If you could do anything you wanted to do for God and knew you would not fail, what would it be? The answer evolved into SonScape, a ministry that seeks to prevent what McBurney tries to heal.”It was more than the formation of a new ministry,”Bob said.”It was a reforming of our spirits, our souls.” In 1987, the Sewells began operating SonScape in western Colorado. Now located on 17 wooded acres with a window on the north face of Pikes Peak, they encourage pastors (the overwhelming majority are men) and spouses to slow down, to rest. And to get back in touch with their own spiritual practice.”It never says in Scripture, `And Jesus was in a hurry,'”Bob Sewell pointed out.

But many pastors are.

They’re running to keep up with others’ expectations. Churchgoers expect their pastor will not only meet their spiritual needs, but be a model of elevated spirituality in all areas of life, Sandy Sewell said. They’re to be godly _ beyond the foibles of their flock _ yet also friendly and approachable. Their familial relationships are to be as wise and congenial as those in”Father Knows Best.” It’s the same across faiths, across denominations. Rabbis are expected to be”on”all the time, said Rabbi Sandra Cohen of Temple Micah in Denver. Clergy call it”life in the fishbowl.””If I go to the grocery store with my toddler, in my sweat pants and my dirty hair, I know I’m going to meet people in my community that I need to be professional with,”Cohen said.”It’s really easy to lose yourself in your (clergy) role, and it’s hard for people to treat you like a regular human being with flaws and bad days like everybody else. And it’s easy to forget that you are. And that’s what becomes dangerous.” Pastors of mainstream churches face certain pressures their evangelical colleagues don’t. Many are trying to hold together congregations and denominations fractured by disagreements over social issues, including homosexuality, reproductive rights and the ordination of women.”Every mainline Christian denomination today is struggling with these particular issues, struggling to the degree that there is much, much pain,”said the Rev. Lucia Guzman, executive director of the Colorado Council of Churches, a coalition of 13 mainline denominations.”Just the issue of homosexuality and the way that we are called to treat homosexuals _ there are some Protestant denominations today that are very close to splitting over this issue.” Often, Guzman said, pastors feel alone”with members of the congregation hating each other.”When our families are dysfunctional and there are so many troubles, we generally go to a psychotherapist. When the church is dysfunctional and has so many problems and pains, who does the pastor go to? Who is the pastor’s pastor?”

DEA END TERWILLIGER

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