c. 1999 Religion News Service

UNDATED _ “If you love a Teletubby, tell him the truth,” the ads warn. “Uh-oh,” as they say in Teletubbyland.

There’s more.

“Toward hope and healing,” the ads go on, “for cartoon homosexuals.”

“Uh-oh.”

What’s this?

“Oh, lighten up,” you say?

That’s the point. The ads are a not-too-subtle parody of a recent advertising campaign by Christian conservatives to persuade gays and lesbians to abandon the homosexual lifestyle. The parodies will run next week in gay newspapers in Atlanta, Houston and New Orleans, says William Waybourn of Window Media, which owns the papers.

All this is enough to give TV tummies indigestion.

The commotion began with speculation that the purple Tinky Winky _ of the magic bag, not purse, thank you very much _ is gay.

First the Rev. Jerry Falwell _ noting similar observations by others _ referred to Tinky Winky’s “implicit sexual preference” and his purple color and the triangle on his head; purple being the color of gay liberation and the triangle being its symbol.

That prompted a PBS spokesman to rise to the defense of Teletubbies everywhere, saying, “Out of the closet? They’re not even out of diapers yet!”

Now there’s this. The ads in gay newspapers will urge Tinky Winky _ and a host of other sexually ambiguous cartoon characters _ to go straight. And they name names: Bert and Ernie of “Sesame Street” (described as “urban bachelors”), Velma of “Scooby-Doo, Where Are You,” Peppermint Patty of “Peanuts” and that cross-dressing Bugs Bunny.

“If we can save Tinky Winky,” the ad promises, “we can help others, too.”

Falwell, speaking Thursday (Feb. 11) on NBC’s “Today” show, said Teletubbies are neither sinister nor dangerous. He is, he said, “simply saying that this is one more in many, many building blocks where we have little boys running around with purses and acting effeminate.”

Um, that’s magic bag, says Teletubbies’ producer.

No reaction yet from the four technological babies _ Tinky Winky, Laa Laa, Po and Dipsy _ who inhabit Teletubbyland, where “they live happily together in their own world of childhood imagination.” But it is hard to imagine that this uproar has upset the idols of the toddler set. How could it when their TV screen tummies broadcast the happy faces of real children. As they say in Teletubbyland:

“Big hug!”

IR END RIOS