c. 1999 Religion News Service

UNDATED _ Have Monicagate and”sexual McCarthyism”soured America’s love affair with Valentine’s Day? Unfortunately, no, say religious leaders and thinkers.

Ethicists and theologians say they are all for flowers, candy, candlelight dinners _ even sex. But, they add, sexual standards must be reassessed in an era when sexuality has been debased by”sexual McCarthyism”and the culture’s trivialization of sex. In this view, Valentine’s Day commercializes sexuality. But good can still come from the holiday, they argue, if people spend it reflecting on love and relationships.”The religious overtones of Valentine’s Day are often overlooked,”said Richard McCord, executive director of the National Conference of Catholic Bishops Committee on Marriage and Family, noting Valentine is a saint, whom the Romans killed in 269 A.D., when Christians were still persecuted.”Not only was St. Valentine martyred, but he assisted other Christians who were being persecuted,”McCord said.”He sacrificed his life to his faith.” Valentine’s Day was originally observed to commemorate this sacrifice, McCord says. But it was a commemoration that was”layered onto a celebration already taking place then. On this pagan holiday, people celebrated love as physical attraction.” McCord said Valentine’s Day should bring together the spirit of sacrifice and romance. “Romance isn’t just physical love; there’s a sacrificial element to it. When you love someone, you’ll do anything for that person,”he said.

McCord’s beef is that society”isn’t romantic enough anymore.”But, he added,”the good thing to come out of the Lewinsky scandal is people are tired of seeing sex disconnected from values. There’s a yearning for romance.” Despite the commercialization surrounding the holiday, Valentine’s Day can help people rekindle the romance that sustains relationships, McCord added.

That won’t be easy, cautioned Yale Divinity School professor of Christian ethics Margaret Farley.”Sexuality’s so complicated! People express themselves sexually out of love and caring, but also out of anger and spite,”she said.”We need to articulate standards about sexuality.” There’s been an erosion of sexual standards, says Christine Gudorf, an ethics professor at Florida International University. Gudorf believes that there are two misperceptions of sexual standards.”One is the false perception that sexual norms shouldn’t be changed from the Victorian beliefs of the 19th century,”she said.”The other equally misguided view is that only the religious right cares about sexual ethics and therefore, sexual standards are ridiculous.” Lisa Cahill, an ethics professor in Boston College’s theology department, agrees with Gudorf.”People are disgusted that sex is the only factor being considered in evaluating Clinton’s presidency. They don’t like sexual McCarthyism. They say sexual behavior is private.”But,”she added,”sexuality isn’t completely private _ it has a public dimension.” The Lewinsky affair wasn’t just a private relationship, Cahill argued.”It took place in the workplace. They weren’t equal; he had more power than her. That’s true for everyone. If someone commits adultery, it affects his or her spouse, children, friends _ their communities.” Rabbi Eliezer Diamond, assistant professor of Talmud and Rabbinics at Jewish Theological Seminary, disagreed with Cahill. “Sexuality should be a private matter when evaluating a political leader,”he said.”Jewish tradition doesn’t condone adultery, but if this behavior doesn’t affect a leader’s ability to do his job, we believe it shouldn’t be used to remove him from office.” The popular saying”the personal is political”isn’t a biblical concept, Diamond said.”The Bible tells stories like that of King David and Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah the Hittite. David had an affair with her and sent her husband off to be killed in battle. He was a flawed man, but a great leader.” Diamond said it is not that the Jewish tradition doesn’t care about sexual behavior.”Husbands and wives are exhorted to be respectful, and committed to their spouses.” Historically, he added, love in Judaism has been oriented toward”action, not romantic love.”In modern times this has changed.”Today, many Jews buy into the idea of romance as much as everyone else in the culture.” Rosemary Radford Ruether, a theology professor at Garrett Evangelical Theological Seminary, said she doesn’t think so-called”sexual McCarthyism”has had much effect on people other than politicians.”They see it as a cover for the political rivalries of powerful men,”Ruether said.”It doesn’t have implications for their own sexuality or love.” But she said she wondered whether”the disgust people feel about the way sex is being used politically will be used to trivialize real cases of sexual harassment.” The Rev. Jane Middleton, senior pastor of the United Methodist Church of New Canaan, Conn., said her parishioners are distressed both by”our culture’s cheapening of sex and by the Lewinsky affair.” How has Middleton worked to alleviate this distress?

She said she has”encouraged church members to talk about these complicated issues. We’ve also had ethicists and theologians speak to us about sexuality and truth-telling.” Lutheran historian Eric Gritsch, emeritus professor of church history at Gettysburg (Pa.) Theological Seminary, put the blame on the Puritans.”The Puritan ethic has made sexuality `forbidden fruit,’ something to be hidden. That’s kept us from being educated about sexuality. We should see sex as a part of love to be responsibly enjoyed like a good wine.” Would the Puritans like Valentine’s Day?

Probably not, Gritsch said. But he said he thinks it can be meaningful.”Though the holiday is commercialized, its true meaning can be celebrated,”he said.

DEA END WOLFE