COMMENTARY: A Letter to My New Sons

c. 2003 Religion News Service (Samuel K. Atchison is an ordained minister and has worked as a policy analyst and social worker to the homeless. He currently is a prison chaplain in Trenton, N.J., and a fellow of the George H. Gallup International Institute in Princeton, N.J.) (UNDATED) Dear Kevin And Jonathan: It’s hard to […]

c. 2003 Religion News Service

(Samuel K. Atchison is an ordained minister and has worked as a policy analyst and social worker to the homeless. He currently is a prison chaplain in Trenton, N.J., and a fellow of the George H. Gallup International Institute in Princeton, N.J.)

(UNDATED) Dear Kevin And Jonathan:


It’s hard to believe you’ve only been with us a few weeks.

It’s even harder to comprehend how you’ve changed our lives in so short a time. I’d long forgotten the joys of sterilizing bottles, changing diapers and sleepless nights.

Thank you for reminding me.

Thank you, as well, for being the answer to our prayers. You guys are too young to know this yet, but your mother and I have wanted sons for a long time. Not that we don’t love your sisters. To the contrary, they are bright and beautiful, and until now, they’ve been the joy of our lives.

But as a black man, I’ve always been keenly aware of the difficulty agencies have in placing black boys for adoption. While in some cultures, boys are valued and even prized, here in the U.S., the life of an African-American boy is deemed of little worth.

Born into fatherless homes to young, undereducated mothers, little guys like you are often bandied about, shuffled from foster home to a group home to a juvenile correction center, and finally, prison. In between, their pursuit of acceptance and love generally leads to immorality, criminality, disease and often, death.

As a prison chaplain who has pastored and eulogized many such persons over the years, I wanted to intervene in some little boy’s life before the abuses of inner-city life could scar his soul. Your mother and sisters agreed, and thus we underwent the training necessary for us to provide foster care for an infant boy, with a view toward adopting him once he was eligible.

Then, on June 24, came the phone call from Harvest of Hope, the social service ministry that trained us. Under a contract with the State of New Jersey, Harvest of Hope identifies and trains individuals and families to prepare them to provide homes for little guys like you.

Harvest of Hope called and asked your mommy if we would take twins! Mommy contacted me at the prison and, with your sisters pleading with me in the background, I said yes! How could I refuse? Two days later, Mommy and I went to meet you at the Boarder Baby Unit of a hospital in Newark.

Your mother says I fell in love with the two of you on sight, but don’t you believe it! It took me at least two, maybe three seconds to fall in love. Anyway, we accepted the placement and went back to take you home with us the next day.


Since then, many of our friends have come to meet you, snuggle with you, and smell you. (It might sound strange to you, but grown-ups love the smell of a clean baby!) Many of the prisoners tell me they are praying for you (even though they can’t visit you just yet).

So you see, you ARE valued. You’ve provided happiness and great joy to many people.

Even more important, you are prized by God. “Sons are a heritage from the Lord,” the Bible tells us in Psalm 127:3.

Even those nobody else wants.

Love always,

Daddy

DEA END ATCHISON

Donate to Support Independent Journalism!

Donate Now!