c. 2005 Religion News Service

(UNDATED) Is this a great country or what?

Hold on _ don’t answer that. Not yet. Once you’ve checked the list of the 100 greatest Americans of all time, “or what” will look like a better answer than you thought.

If you can judge a nation by its heroes, and if this list is any guide, the country is going to hell on a bobsled.

And you can watch it, or blame it, on TV. Of course.

The 100 greatest Americans are nominees in the running on “Greatest American,” a Sunday night series on the Discovery Channel. Viewers are voting all month to narrow the list in “American Idol” fashion. Voting on the top five will start this Sunday.

The “Greatest American” will be revealed on the final installment, a live show hosted by Matt Lauer, in time to stir your patriotic pride for Independence Day.

But I think that’s just a cover story. “Greatest American” is actually a search for the Dumbest List of All Time.

Its roster of greatness does feature some names you’d expect: Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, Alexander Hamilton. It includes such scientists and inventors as Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell, Jonas Salk and the Wright brothers. It has activists, athletes, entertainers, a couple of writers.

Naturally, some big names didn’t make the list. Picking from 230 years of history is a tall order, and competition was stiff.

Just look at who made it _ Dr. Phil, Martha Stewart and Ellen DeGeneres, for example. How could Montel Williams, Heloise and Rosie O’Donnell hope to vault over them? Or pass Donald Trump, Mel Gibson, Brett Favre and Rush Limbaugh? Not to mention Hugh Hefner. Can’t forget Hef.

All of them made the top 100, which exposes the list’s biggest flaw. It’s not even good for starting arguments.

I can prove it. Here is the complete transcript of a discussion about whether the list of the 100 greatest Americans should include Tom Cruise, which it does:

“I think Tom Cruise is one of the 100 greatest Americans of all time.”

“Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!”

Here is a discussion about the field of music, where the nominees do not include George Gershwin, John Philip Sousa, Aaron Copland, Charles Ives, Irving Berlin or Berry Gordy Jr., to name a random few.

“I agree that Michael Jackson is one of the 100 greatest Americans. He’s the King of Pop.”

“I think you ought to get out of the sun.”

Who’s responsible? We, the people. Or some of us. Nominees were picked from 500,000 votes in an online poll by Discovery Channel and America Online. Discovery says the list “takes the pulse of the nation and reveals the qualities we most admire.”

As far as I can tell, the most admired quality is being alive.

Forty-one of the nominees are, which is a whopping percentage. The 15 presidents on the list include 11 of the last 12, plus five of their wives. Only Gerald Ford didn’t make the cut. Betty Ford didn’t make it either, and she should have _ without her, celebrities would have nowhere to go for rehab.

Then again, she’s no Madonna.

On the bright side, the list might reveal that the age of titans has not passed. We can even find it inspiring.

I know I do. On the Fourth of July, this list of the greatest Americans ever will inspire me to wave a flag.

A white one.

MO/PH/JM END FERAN

(Tom Feran is a columnist for The Plain Dealer of Cleveland.)