c. 2005 The Joyful Noiseletter
(UNDATED) An elderly woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She asked the clerk, “May I have 50 Christmas stamps?”
“What denomination?” the clerk asked.
“God help us,” the woman replied. “Has it come to this? Give me six Presbyterian, six Lutheran, six Catholic, 10 Methodist, and 22 Baptist.”
_ Via George Goldtrap. Ormond-by-the-Sea, Fla.
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A couple of weeks before Christmas, a pastor drove a member of his congregation to the airport. As the member headed to security for check-in,the the pastor said, “May God and your luggage go with you.”
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You can tell it’s the Christmas season by the traditional greeting that shoppers give each other in the mall _ `I think I was next.’
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The preacher was trying to get his people to be more enthusiastic about their church, so he said in his sermon:
“If this church is going to get anywhere, it has to learn to crawl.”
And the people said, “Let it crawl, Rev., let it crawl!”
Then he said, “And after it learns to crawl, it has to learn to walk.”
And the people said, “Let it walk, Rev., let it walk!”
Then he got excited and said, “After this church learns to walk, it has to learn to run!”
And finally he said, “And if this church is going to run, it’s going to take money!”
And the people said, “Let it crawl, Rev., let it crawl!”
_ Flip Wilson
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“From somber, serious, sullen saints, save us, O Lord. Lord, hear our prayer.”
_ St. Teresa of Avila (1582 A.D.)
MO/JL END RNS
(Cal and Rose Samra are editors of the award-winning “The Joyful Noiseletter.” Got some holy humor or funny religious anecdote you’d like to share? E-mail to: JoyfulNZ(at)aol.com or postal mail to: A Joyful Noise, P.O. Box 895, Portage, MI 49081. http://www.joyfulnoiseletter.com.)
Editors: This December, RNS subscribers can use free samples of this new column of holiday religious humor, accompanied by a cartoon. Download jokes, a cartoon and a logo as you normally would, searching by subject or slug, or you can click on the “Joyful Noise” logo on our home page. We won’t charge your account.
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