c. 2007 Religion News Service

(UNDATED) I wonder if God considered alternatives to Jesus.

I suppose there are other ways that Almighty God could have dealt with this whole issue of who gets into paradise.

Some people would probably be more comfortable with a roll of the dice, a cut of the deck or a ka-chunk of the slot machine _ let Lady Luck decide who’s in. But some people spend too much time in casinos.

Some people would rather see a system by which everyone puts on his or her best performance, then a panel of judges decides who advances, then we all vote on who we like best. But some people are way too into “American Idol.”

Some people think that in the final analysis, everyone should pass regardless of their performance. But some people have way too much faith in the educational concepts used in U.S. public schools in general, and in the “No Child Left Behind” law in particular.

Some people believe it should come down to a matter of membership _ in their preferred political party, for example. But some people listen to way too much talk radio.

Some people believe it should come down to a matter of membership _ in their preferred church denomination, for example. But some people listen to way too many sermons that merely feed back to them what they already believe, in a sort of endless loop.

Some people believe it should come down to a matter of citizenship in their preferred nation. But some people forget that national boundaries don’t show up when you view the world from the International Space Station, let alone from Heaven.

Some people are adamant that grading should be done on a curve, so that even if you only score a 71 you can get an A, because nobody else in the class did all that much better. But some people still proudly keep their old elementary school report cards, as if anybody is ever going to ask to see them.

Some people believe it should be sort of like Powerball, where the more tickets you buy the more chances you have to win the big jackpot. But some people never read the fine print that says the odds of winning that grand prize last week were 1 in 146,107,962. Buying a hundred tickets won’t do much to tip the odds in your favor.

Some people assume that the selection process is an internal one, so that if you have a positive view of yourself, you’re in. But some people spend too much time looking in mirrors.

Some people just want to arm-wrestle God, straight up. But some people overestimate their biceps.

Some people want to pattern their lives after the National Basketball Association playoffs, where during the long regular season all the teams are luckluster and make a lot of mistakes, but then for the playoffs they wake up and show incredible moves and determination. But some people wouldn’t even make it to the playoffs.

Some people are looking for a loophole, for some way to get around the central concept of having to stand unexcused and undefended in front of a God who will look into the central core of my being and decide whether he wants me near him for the rest of forever.

Some people have found their loophole in Jesus Christ, who is ready to stand between me and God, excusing and defending me. But some people still don’t understand what the big deal is about Jesus.

(Doug Mendenhall is the “Soul Food” columnist for the Huntsville Times in Alabama. His new book is “How Jesus Ended Up in the Food Court.”)

KRE/RB END MENDENHALL