c. 2007 Religion News Service

NEWARK, N.J. _ Helen Guididas is a devout Catholic, but when it comes to same-sex civil unions, the 84-year-old is conflicted.

Just before attending Mass Sunday morning (Feb. 25) at St. Helen’s Roman Catholic Church in Westfield, Guididas said she couldn’t fully support the state’s new law that gives same-sex couples the benefits and obligations of marriage.

“Because of what I’ve been taught, it’s just too long-standing,” she said of the church’s position that defines marriage as between a man and a woman.

But the longtime parishioner also has gay friends, and wants them to be happy. “If I had to make a choice,” she said, “I would love them to be married.”

The Catholic church has not deviated from its opposition to same-sex unions, and at St. Helen’s and countless other parishes across New Jersey, Sunday’s Prayer of the Faithful included a reaffirmation of that position.

The state’s seven Catholic bishops issued the call in a Feb. 11 letter designating Sunday a “day of special prayer for the preservation of marriage.” The pronouncement will be repeated in the weeks to come and is a response to the state Supreme Court’s same-sex union ruling, said Jim Goodness, a spokesman for the Archdiocese of Newark.

“It’s incumbent on the church to continue to reinforce that teaching,” Goodness said.

He acknowledged that some parishioners may be confused regarding the subject. “As the reality of the court ruling has begun to take shape,” he said, “the church felt (it) needed to reemphasize what it teaches.”

The topic is a difficult one for Katherine Capperella and her husband, both members of St. Helen’s. “My husband and I, we have different views,” said Capperella, 43, who brought her 21/2-year-old son, John Thomas, to Sunday’s Mass.

Capperella respects the teachings of the church, but has friends who are gay and struggles with the notion of exclusion. “We have to be accepting of all people,” she said. “Lots of people believe homosexuality is a sin. I haven’t come to terms with that.”

John Patterson, 39, didn’t think his strong Catholic upbringing conflicted with his more moderate take on the issue. “I don’t believe in it,” said Patterson, who attended Mass with his wife, Christine, and their two young children. “But I don’t have any problems with it.”

The fact Catholics are again discussing and debating the issue is a positive step, said Steven Goldstein, chairman of Garden State Equality, a gay rights group. Goldstein on Sunday attended his sixth civil union ceremony since the court ruling, excluding his own.

“We have nothing but the deepest respect for the Catholic Church, but on same-sex marriage, like on other issues, parishioners don’t necessarily share the position of the hierarchy,” Goldstein said.

The real question, he said, is how aggressive the church will be in its opposition. Despite what the Catholic church intends, he said, “no religion is monolithic.”

Not everyone was on the fence.

For Stella Chapman, 71, the decision is easy. “I believe in marriage between a man and a woman,” she said outside Mass at St. Helen’s, where she is an occasional parishioner.

Ashop Maliakal was similarly certain. Standing outside St. Helen’s with his wife, Marina, and their son, Cyril, 21/2, Maliakal said he is opposed to gay marriage. “There is no conflict for me.”

Not so, however, for Joanne Lukowiak, a lector at St. Helen’s. Lukowiak, 42, wrestled with the idea of civil unions, but now says she is a proponent.

“Everyone,” she said, “deserves to be loved.”

(Alexi Friedman writes for the Star-Ledger of Newark, N.J.)

KRE/LF END FRIEDMAN