c. 2008 Religion News Service

(UNDATED) Matt Rogers had been a campus pastor at Virginia Tech for only a year when gunman Seung-Hui Cho killed 32 students and faculty before taking his own life on April 16, 2007.

Rogers, 31, is a leader of New Life Christian Fellowship, which attracts some 800 Virginia Tech students. His new book, “When Answers Aren’t Enough: Experiencing God as Good When Life Isn’t,” describes his not-always-easy search for God in the midst of tragedy.

(This interview has been edited for length and clarity.)

Q: Where were you when the shootings broke out?

A: I was at a coffee shop downtown. None of us in there had any idea of what was going on. The first hint that something was wrong was when I walked outside and heard a loudspeaker off in the distance. It sounded urgent but I couldn’t make out what they were saying.

When the first reports said 20 deaths, it felt like someone had dropped a blanket over me. That was the moment I realized this wasn’t going to go away in a day or in a few months. This was going to change our community forever.

Q: Did you find it difficult to function as a pastor when you were experiencing so much doubt about your faith?

A: I went into automatic ministry mode. I didn’t struggle with my faith. I knew God was good. My question was how to experience him as good when life isn’t. It wasn’t hard being a pastor. The only thing that was difficult was going from being a pastor in a normal setting to being surrounded by the media and having to respond with answers on the moment.

It wasn’t that I was doubting my faith. But how do I experience it rather than it just being in my head?

Q: The last part of your book imagines “the world that is to be.” A major source of your comfort seems to come from your belief in the Resurrection and the afterlife. But what did you say to the students who weren’t Christian or who were struggling with their faith?

A: Most of the students weren’t asking a lot of questions. Most of the students here were simply stuck in grief. Most of the questions of how could God could let this happen _ those were coming from those outside the Virginia Tech community. No one here was really blaming God.

It’s really why I wanted to write the book, because sometimes you’re just not going to have answers to “why” questions. And sometimes that knowing doesn’t help. We’re created for something more than just answers. We’re created to experience God.

Q: What are the main lessons you’ve learned from the tragedy? How did it change you as a Christian?

A: One of the main things I learned is that there is no part of the world that is exempt from suffering. Blacksburg, Va., was such a safe place. The worst thing that ever seemed to happen here is someone got a bike stolen. You’re almost lulled into this false sense of security. But you can’t run or hide from suffering. It’s essential to experience God as good in the midst of tragedy.

Q: What is the mood of the campus like now, one year later?

A: “Apprehensive,” if I had to choose a word. Some people are doing really well and are experiencing a lot of healing. Some others are feeling like they’re just beginning to heal and have to go through it again. Is the media gong to be back? Is it going to be more low-key? We just don’t really know.

KRE/PH END FOWLER550 words

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