In the last two months, I lost a dear friend to a roadside bomb in Iraq; my little brother became a major in the Air Force and was sent back to Afghanistan; and, most recently, my husband’s eldest son became a captain in the Army and will soon report for duty serving his country as a doctor. As a nation, we’ve been at war in Iraq and Afghanistan-a war I oppose and mourn intensely-for more than five years. I am so profoundly, unequivocally proud of and grateful for my husband’s son, Dan. He is determined and courageous, kind and brave, sensitive and strong. As I watched Dan salute and then turn to smile at his family, I couldn’t hold back the tears. Pride was there, yes, and love, but also fear and with it a certain resentment. I knew, truly and viscerally down deep in my bones, perhaps for the first time, that we are living in a time of war. And that war changes everything.

(Cathleen Falsani is a columnist for the Chicago Sun-Times and author of “The God Factor: Inside the Spiritual Lives of Public People.”)