c. 2008 Religion & Ethics NewsWeekly

LEXINGTON, Ill. _ Spencer Johansen has been the popular police chief of this rural Illinois town (population 1,900) for 18 years and always thought he’d retire here as the police chief.

But then some seemingly inexplicable things started happening.

“I missed a couple of court dates, nothing major, they were just minor traffic cases,” he told Religion & Ethics Newsweekly. “But I missed them and that wasn’t like me. And then I was just having trouble with my concentration.”

One of his aunts had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in her late 30s, and an uncle had died of the disease in his 50s. The chief decided to undergo a series of physical and neurological tests.

“Every doctor that I initially saw told me not to worry about it,” he said. “They thought it was stress.”

But then his family physician delivered the diagnosis: mild cognitive impairment, or, in laymen’s terms, the early onset of Alzheimer’s.

About 5 million Americans have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s; only about 6 percent to 10 percent are under the age of 60. Johansen was 49 at the time of his diagnosis.

Johansen notified town officials immediately and they decided to keep him on the job for as long as doctors say he is still capable of performing his duties.

“There’s been no criticism of keeping Spencer on the job,” said Mayor John Mohr. “There’s been a little concern about carrying the gun with him and things like that. But we’re high on Spencer’s judgment and that of his doctors to tell us when he has to change the responsibilities that he’s able to perform.”

From the first days after his diagnosis, Johansen began keeping what he calls a “spiritual journal,” a frank portrayal of his struggle to accept his illness.

Johansen, who converted to Catholicism 25 years ago, quit going to Mass on Sundays shortly after the diagnosis and fell into a deep depression.

An entry from July 18, 2007, is perhaps typical: “Been really out of it lately. Don’t seem to care about much. Little things get on my nerves. Like to spend more time by myself. Not good …”

As word spread of his diagnosis, local clergy approached Johansen with offers to help. But angry at his fate, Johansen said, “I turned it all away. I wanted to be angry with somebody. … I think I took my anger out on God.”

Johansen became despondent, with thoughts of suicide. Especially around the holidays, he said, “I got to where I didn’t want to put my wife and kids through this.” The pain is apparent in his journal: “Feeling sorry for myself. Think it’s getting bad again. Wish I could end it in a way not to be a coward.”

And then one morning last January he noticed something on a sign in front of the local Lutheran church. Each day, Johansen would park near the church to make sure kids could get to school safely. Sitting near the church, he noticed the sign: “When All Else Fails, Trust God.”

“It finally dawned on (me),” he said. “This message was meant for me.”

Faces started racing through Johansen’s mind _ “everybody who’s tried to help me, that’s approached me about my faith. Every minister in town. So many people tried to help me in their own way and I shut them out.”

His journal entry shows a marked turn: “I believe in my heart that God touched me and has given me the strength to face all my fears.”

Johansen has returned to church, and stops in each day for quiet solitary prayer.

“I pray for a cure for this disease,” he said. “But I don’t pray that I get cured. I don’t know if that makes sense. I just pray for the strength for the rest of the day. And that’s been my attitude lately. I need to get through one day at a time.”

Once a month, Johansen travels to Carle Clinic in Urbana, Ill., to undergo a series of scans and neurological tests that measure his mental activity. Doctors say it is a good sign that he is still able to work nearly two years after his initial diagnosis.

Doctors can’t say how long it will be before Johansen’s condition worsens. But for as long as he can, Johansen intends to keep writing his spiritual journal _ and doing his job.

“I’ve come to the conclusion that I have to trust God,” he said, “and if I don’t trust him now, when I’m on my deathbed it’s going to be too late to ask for his trust then.”

KRE/PH END VALENTE Editors: A version of this story first appeared on the PBS program Religion & Ethics NewsWeekly. Please use the Religion & Ethics Newsweekly credit line.

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Photos of Johansen are available via https://religionnews.com.