Biblical Themes

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revelation.jpgSure, the usual First Amendment purists think there’s something wrong with Kentucky Gov. Steven Beshear’s plan to help solve his state’s unemployment woes by giving big tax breaks to support the construction of a Noah’s Ark Theme Park. Personally, I think he’s on to something. Something big.

In these hard times, when imminent divided government in Washington promises economic bailout gridlock, it’s time to put the Bible to work all over this jobless country. Herewith, then, a few modest proposals:

* Jonah Water Park and Whale Watch. New Bedford, MA. Side trips to Boston.

* Israel in Egypt Adventureland. Memphis, TN. See the Pyramid! Paddle down the Nile! Drown the enemy in the Arkansas swamps!

* Exodus Trek, Zion, UT. Forty-day hiking trail, food and theophany gratis.

* Ruth’s Folly Farm, Ames, IA. Play follow-the-leader, pick corn, find a husband.

* Song of Songs Recreation Area, Niagara Falls, NY. Couples only.

* Herod’s Mountain Hideaway and Resort, Aspen, CO. Repel the Romans from the lap of luxury.

* Leviticus Retirement Community, Tupelo, MS. Life as it was meant to be lived, according to the rules.

* Sodom and Gomorrah City, 30 minutes east of Las Vegas, NV. Not so much.

* Revelation Midway on the Mall, Washington, D.C. Dragons, horsemen, trumpets, you name it. Rapture optional.

Let the tax abatements begin!

  • holly folk

    Doesn’t Connecticut get a theme park? Why does Massachusetts get all the Puritan cred.?
    And what about Washington state? What are we, chopped liver?
    – holly folk, Bellingham

  • Glenn Zuber

    And what about Maine too, Holly?

  • Mark Silk

    Additional proposals are more than welcome.