PregMANcy: Christian Piatt Talks About His New Memoir for Dads

Christian Piatt didn't want to be a father a second time. But when his wife got pregnant, he decided to write about pregnancy from a man's POV, resulting in the funny and honest memoir PregMANcy: A Dad, a Little Dude, and a Due Date. Here he talks to FS about the ups and downs of being an expecting dad.

Christian Piatt didn't want to be a father a second time. But when his wife got pregnant, he decided to write about pregnancy from a man's POV, resulting in the funny and honest memoir PregMANcy: A Dad, a Little Dude, and a Due Date.

Here's what Publishers Weekly had to say about the memoir:

While serious about his faith, Piatt is refreshingly irreverent and never attempts to candy-coat the gritty and authentic aspects of life, from sex to arguments with one's spouse to changing diapers and cleaning up vomit. This is not only a memoir of pregnancy, but it is also a splendid guide for parents who may feel at times that their life challenges are insurmountable. The spiritual discourse flows naturally–nothing is forced or artificial. Piatt offers a gracious service by recounting how he and his wife mange to stay somewhat grounded while taking the crazy leap into parenthood for the second time. Regardless of faith background, novice and veteran parents alike will find consolation and a lot of laughs.”
Publishers Weekly, May 2012

And here's a great review of the book from her.meneutics last week. I had the pleasure of sitting down with Christian at the Wild Goose Festival, and he is as funny in person as he is on the page. Here he talks to FS about the ups and downs of being an expecting dad. –JKR


Where did the idea come from for the book?

We had decided to go off birth control, but I realized I was having tremendous anxiety about having another child. I don’t consider myself to be Parent of the Year material, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to screw up another kid. We both have addiction on both sides of our families. And why hurt the carbon footprint? All of that was really just justification for my anxiety. But she really, really wanted to have another kid. I said, “I know you really want this, and I don’t want to close the door on this completely, but I’m not sure I can do this.” So we went back on birth control. But that Friday night we went on our date night and then when we came home, we apparently made a baby. My wife Amy came down the stairs a few weeks later with the pee stick, and put it under my nose, and everything had just changed. So we were all in.

How is the experience of pregnancy different for men? Well, aside from the obvious physical changes of course.

The thing is, for women, it’s a process of addition. Yes, there are certainly some drawbacks with pregnancy, but they are intimately connected with that new life. For me, it’s loss of sex, loss of money, loss of this idealistic vision of a romantic Easy Rider future with no strings, no ties. And so until it gets to a point where I see the heartbeat, I can feel the baby move, it’s all what’s being taken away, not what’s being added. We had a vacation planned and I took my wife, who was so exhausted that she slept the entire time. And I was actually mad at the baby for that.

For a man, it takes that visual, kinesthetic connection to fall in love. I remembered that experience five years earlier with my son, Mattias, but you have to fall in love with each baby, all over again.

So you became a father again?

Our second child, a daughter, is three years old. Her name is Zoe, which means life, and that’s her, one hundred percent.  She is a complete angel, the embodiment of joy. I am so in love it’s stupid. I cannot imagine my life without her. I miss her terribly right now. You didn’t ask, but I’ll show you pictures.

Why did you decide to write these experiences as a book?

The reason I started was really just catharsis and therapy for myself. In the process I shared my feelings with people, and my writing, and they thought it was funny stuff. I shared it with a couple of editor and publisher friends, and they said it was natural and enjoyable. It was writing that was most truly and authentically me.

What I realized was that it was the most pleasurable and gratifying writing I’d ever done, and people were telling me that it was the best writing I’d ever done. And that’s when you know it’s God’s calling, when the world’s needs and your own joy come together. And I realized, nobody is doing this in the same kind of way.


Does a man really have the audacity to write about pregnancy from a man’s POV?

I’ve had more women telling me that they’ve bought the book for their partners, more than men buying it on their own. And they’re thankful for the book helping give men insights into their own feelings and ways to articulate what is in their hearts. Men aren’t always the best at articulating that.

You write with a lot of humor, which I appreciate.

It’s really a device, although it’s entertaining. Laughter humanizes the story.  But it also opens people up to the deeper truth when they might have had their defenses up and not been able to receive it. Fred Craddock is the master of this. I’m not up to that level, using humor to disarm, and then hitting them with something deeply profound. It’s better to reach them with humor first. I love it when people tell me that they laughed and cried in the same chapter. It’s a gift, and I feel like I’m doing what I’m supposed to.

Sarcasm and satire are some of the best tools we have for teaching truth.

One woman told me she’d been considering a second child and that my book was an effective form of birth control. The book does end happily –- it ends with my daughter’s birth and my falling madly in love with her. But the epilogue is my vasectomy. Tying up loose ends, if you will!

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