• Eliel Cruz

    What a beautiful letter. Thank you so much Lily for sharing this with us.

  • What a beautiful letter. Words we should all hear…and follow.

  • kathy smith

    thank you for writing this letter it was beautiful .

  • Doc Anthony

    Indeed, that is a well-written letter, a very loving letter. But since it’s also a pointed reaction to Joshua Alcorn’s suicide, let’s remind ourselves that Joshua Alcorn’s parents were EQUALLY very loving towards him, and nobody gets to take **that** away from those parents.

    “We don’t support (the transgender lifestyle), religiously,’ Alcorn’s mother told CNN on Wednesday, her voice breaking.”

    “But we told him that we loved him unconditionally. We loved him no matter what. I loved my son.”

    “People need to know that I loved him. He was a good kid, a good boy.”

    Say what you want, but there is NO mistaking that deep unconditional mother’s love in Carla Alcorn’s voice. That’s real, folks.

    ****

    By the way, I recently saw some thoughtful online comments while surfing various sites concerning this issue. Let me share the following:

    “There is no evidence that Josh Alcorn’s parents abused him or even rejected him. They rejected his belief that his desire to be a girl signified something true and good. They rejected Josh’s belief that his desire to be a girl should be affirmed as central to his identity. And they rejected his request to pursue bodily mutilation.”

    (By the way, Carla Alcorn also told CNN that they didn’t have the money for that kind of surgery. Not every parent does, you know. To continue…)

    “Genuine love is inseparable from truth. Parents of children who experience same-sex attraction or gender dysphoria must learn how to communicate their love while always affirming truth about sexuality, gender, embodiment, and human flourishing.”

    “If Christians hope to alleviate the suffering of children and adults who experience same-sex attraction or gender dysphoria, they must guard against the lies that now devour them.”

    I totally agree with those comments. Parents, please LOVE your children. But please also TRUTH your children too. Give your child both gifts….while there is time.

    (Also, if there are problems or struggles brewing already, in any area of life, please seek out helpful resources, resource-groups, religious-groups, and/or counseling professionals who, umm, AGREE with — instead of disagree with — the Bible. That’s important.)

  • Larry

    Doc, your comments are about as welcome as a turd in a punchbowl.

    ““There is no evidence that Josh Alcorn’s parents abused him or even rejected him.”

    Riiiight. Do you have a bridge to sell as well. The only isolated her from others. Transgender is not a lifestyle, it is existence. Her parents tried to torture and abuse it out. Your defense of them is reprehensible garbage as usual. One more dead LBGT kid is just a delight to you.

  • Grimm

    Deliberately misgendering Leelah Alcorn while trying to defend her parents just makes all your arguments pointless. Misgendering a trans person IS abuse, and they BURIED HER UNDER THE WRONG NAME, WEARING THE WRONG CLOTHES. Your argument is invalid. Go educate yourself on trans issues, son. Have a nice day.

  • Franken

    Is this a joke?

    Our children are in deep trouble.

    Male and female he created them. Confused? Look at your genes and biology. They don’t lie. Sin does though.

  • ben in oakland

    or you could just google “intersex” and find out that every one of your statements is wrong.

    don’t worry, frank. I know you won’t. This comment isn’t for you.

  • Ken

    There is something obviously supernatural about the LGBT goal of influencing the world taking such a powerful place of influence now. That a minuscule group of people have been given so much power and authority is striking. It is clear that it is from the “powers and “principalities” warned about by Paul. This young “man” killed himself for other reasons that he had bad parents. And it’s clear that certain kinds of people are blaming Christians. Almost nothing except Islam is as threatening and malevolent towards Christians as the LGBT demands on society. Look to the increase in intolerance and cheered on hatred towards Christians to be a main theme of the homosexual movement. Or, actually, even more so. The ONLY thing standing in the way of homosexuals taking complete control of our future through pop culture and the education system is The Church and brave and trustworthy Christians willing to stand against the same evil as we did at the beginning of The Church’s birth.

  • ben in oakland

    Deeeeeeemonnnnnnnnnnssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!

    And a healthy dose of paranoia, chased down with a large swig of fox news.

  • Pingback: Letter to my possible son: You will always be m...()

  • Beautiful letter, lucky daughter.

  • The letter is cloying tripe.

    A juvenile head case committed suicide, something which happens with non-zero frequency among people in just about every walk of life and just about any community and for all manner of reasons. Suicide commonly makes very little sense to anyone outside the head of the person pulling the trigger.

    Also, it is nothing short of obscene attempting to leverage this family’s problems for some shizzy social agenda. (And see Paul McHugh on the utility of mutilating surgery and hormone treatments in addressing such people’s problems). Does anyone with taste and discretion edit this site?

  • Frank

    Yes our sinful fallen world includes mutations. Anyone with chromosomal abnormalities have a struggle. One that they didn’t choose.

    What is the incidence of genetic abnormalities that result in confused biology? True prevalence of intersex is seen to be about 0.018%.

  • Larry

    “Suicide commonly makes very little sense to anyone outside the head of the person pulling the trigger.”

    Except when they leave a note and there is a good deal of information of their lives as revealed by friends, neighbors and acquaintances. The only thing worse than how the parents treated that teen are the people making crappy excuses for such behavior. Then again, your crowd always liked to make excuses for torturing gays. Hence the support for nonsense like ex-gay therapy.

    The “shizzy social agenda” being treating a trans person like a human being and not torturing, ostracizing and discriminating against them. Treating people like human beings is never part of YOUR agenda.

    As for McHugh, he joins many quacks who chime in on a subject which they mischaracterize, make dishonest arguments and pushed a clear bias. A 40 year old psychological study on transsexuals can’t be taken seriously considering the major changes in culture and law on how LBGT people are treated.
    http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2014/06/16/the_wall_street_journal_displays_shocking_ignorance_about_lgbtq_issues.html

    “The single study McHugh cites for opposing gender-confirming surgery is nearly 40 years old, and he misreads its conclusions, failing to note that its authors explicitly state that “no inferences can be drawn as to the effectiveness of sex reassignment” in improving the lives of transgender people; McHugh ignores a growing (though still small) body of evidence suggesting that medical transition has a positive impact on the wellbeing of transgender people; and he ignores the most obvious reality that would explain why post-operative transgender folks might still struggle with mental health challenges: the ongoing prejudice, stigma, discrimination, economic instability, and violence they face as transgender people. None of this is helped by McHugh’s careless and groundless generalizations.”

    Feel free to take that moldy old nonsense study and put it the closest orifice.

  • Larry

    Ken, your post was too ridiculous for words. But here there are

    “Look to the increase in intolerance and cheered on hatred towards Christians to be a main theme of the homosexual movement.”

    OMG people get annoyed when you lobby to discriminate against them under the color of law. They get especially annoyed when you demonize them and pretend its part of your religious belief Who knew?

    Poor little Ken, people won’t tolerate your intolerance. Christian privilege doesn’t go as far as it used to.

  • Doc Anthony

    Umm, that is the best you and Larry can do, isn’t it? Nothing but Doc-is-a-bad-widdle-boy whining?

    Please get serious sooner rather than later, both of you.

    Parents, family, and friends who are trying to deal with a loved one who is experiencing gender dysphoria problems or getting tempted to go into the transgender lifestyle, are really really taking this problem — and it’s a real problem Larry, not merely one more libbie political cause — very seriously.

    I do too. That’s why I replied to the above article in detail, without either hatred or jive, and spoke from the heart. You need to do the same.

  • Larry

    Doc, your response didn’t require a dignified response. It was nonsense. Neon Genesis gave a far more appropriate response to your little hateful diatribe.

    By “dealing with a loved one who is experiencing gender dysphoria problems” you mean torture them mercilessly until their either commit suicide or endure lasting psychological and/or physical trauma. At no point is the expectation that the loved one is treated like a normal human being with a measure of dignity to you. Could you be a little more mendacious about the excuses given to treat LBGT people like crap?

    By describing transgenderism as a “lifestyle” rather than a medically/psychologically recognized condition, you intentionally try to whitewash what amounts to excuses to treat others with cruelty and abuse. You spoke from the heart. A hateful, dishonest, malicious heart. Its one thing when you go through your usual support of discrimination and hatred against people. Its another to be gloating over their demise as you did.

  • Josh M

    So you admit that transgenderism is a medically/psychologically recognized condition? If so, then how can it be wrong to treat it? There are many medical & psychological recognized conditions: depression, schizophrenia, some people belief they are actually animals called (i.e. Species dysphoria, clinical lycanthropy, Boanthropy), people who are sexually attracted to inanimate objects and other paraphilia’s (goodness, just look at the list online)

    And in all of these cases, the main goal of therapy is to find out the origins of the belief and cure or treat it, because all of these are considered abnormal; the same with transgenderism or gender dysphoria. To claim that transgenderism shouldn’t be treated, or cured, or seem as “normal” is simply a case of special pleading (a form of fallacious argument that involves an attempt to cite something as an exception to a generally accepted rule, principle, etc. without justifying the exception.)

    Transgenderism or gender dysphoria is not normal and it should be treated and, if possible, cured, if a cure exists (if not, we should search until we find it). To not do so is the immoral, unloving thing to do.

    Now you may disagree with the current methods of treatments, but this isn’t the same thing as saying we shouldn’t treat it; or the more radical statement “Transgenderism/gender dysphoria is completely normal” (question: is depression so normal as well that it shouldn’t be treated? Is schizophrenia also so normal that it shouldn’t be treated? Is Coprophilia normal as well? How about Schediaphilia?)

    Another question for you: Do you think gender dysphoria should be treated or cured? Why or why not? If so, how would you go about doing so? If there is no cure as of now, how would you go about finding a cure?

  • Doc Anthony

    You seem to think that it is somehow necessary for me to convince you of **anything**, Larry. Please rest assured that it is not.

    I do trust God to correctly analyze the contents of my heart.
    As for trusting YOU similarly? Sheesh, not a chance. Keep working at it, dude.

  • Ben in Oakland

    A lot of nonsense there, Josh.

    “So you admit that transgenderism is a medically/psychologically recognized condition? If so, then how can it be wrong to treat it?” Because it’s not a disease? Because we don’t know much about it? Because, like homosexuality, people are trying to cure something that isn’t an illness, by means which are clearly failures, based upon theories which are nonsense, to achieve goal that they cannot define?

    “And in all of these cases, the main goal of therapy is to find out the origins of the belief and cure or treat it, because all of these are considered abnormal; the same with transgenderism or gender dysphoria.” Lots of things are “abnormal”. That doesn’t mean there is anything to be cured, or rather, “cured”. Left handedness isn’t normal, and fortunately, we have stopped trying to “cure” it.

    “Transgenderism or gender dysphoria is not normal and it should be treated and, if possible, cured, if a cure exists (if not, we should search until we find it). To not do so is the immoral, unloving thing to do.” That always what a certain class of so-called Christian says when they are on their path to “helping” others who neither need or request it. They just ‘love’ us LGBT people to death, they do. Leelah alcorn, anyone?

  • Larry

    @JoshM
    You can stop telling me that’s warm rain. Your post is an irrelevance based on deliberately misstating or ignoring relevant facts.

    Mental illness is a medically recognized condition, as well. But it would still be wrong to treat it by exorcisms and having one’s parents drill holes in their child’s head to let the evil out.

    At no point were the parents involved acting in accordance with suggestions with medical/pschological professionals. At no point does any responsible sane person consider abuse, isolation and extreme pressure to be a method of treating the situation. Chances of an LBGT teen committing suicide increase dramatically in cases where they seek religious guidance.

    It is obvious the attitude of pray “the queer out of” people which religious groups such as your own like to endorse are nothing but glorified torture. Just another example of the immoral/relativistic nature of Christian dogma. Any kind of reprehensible act is excused if doing it for the Lord.

    The point which you are trying desperately to avoid is the response for parents with a transgendered child is not to ostracize and abuse them to the point of breaking mentally, but treat them like human beings with a measure of dignity.

  • Josh M

    “Because it’s not a disease? …”
    -Was that a question or a statement that you made to look like a question?

    I don’t think it’s a disease on par with something like the flu or pneumonia or cancer, or something the like. I would classify it more as a mental disorder on par with something like clinical lycanthropy or boanthropy, or any other of the numerous cases of dysphoria. In fact, as I’m thinking about it now I’m not sure it should be classified along with homosexuality. Homosexuality deals with sexual attraction like the list of paraphilia’s I referred to previously. Transgenderism isn’t a disorder dealing with attraction, it’s a disorder dealing with self-identity (any issues of attraction which arise due to their dysphoria are secondary, not the primary issue), which is way it’s comparable with lycanthropy or boanthropy, because both are issues of self-identity. And this also would render the comparison to left-handedness as a category error. I see no reason to compare a disorder of self-identity to whether a person catches a baseball with his left or right hand. Do you?

    “That always what a certain class of so-called Christian says when they are on their path to “helping” others who neither need or request it.”
    -It may seem like that, but I believe it’s due more to differing definitions of love that both Christians and secularists have. I would be interested in knowing your personal definition of “love” that you hold to. And if you ask me, I’ll give you the definition that I hold to.

    I just to be fair, you never answered the questions that I had asked: Do you think gender dysphoria should be treated or cured? Why or why not? If so, how would you go about doing so? If there is no cure as of now, how would you go about finding a cure?

  • Josh M

    You’re making a generalization which says ALL Christians are for these things. You have no idea what my stances are on exorcisms, head-drilling, and both physical and mental abuse are. Suffice it to say I would actually stand on your side of the line on these particular issues. Now I actually haven’t seen the statistics on LGBT teen suicides myself, but I would have to imagine that this is a highly debatable claim. Even on the face of it, it seems remarkable that simply listening to advice would drive someone to suicide. I would imagine it’s not simply “seeking guidance” like you claim, it seems like it would have to involved something more concrete. I would be interested in reading these studies myself; would you please provide a link?

    “It is obvious the attitude of pray “the queer out of” people which religious groups such as your own like to endorse are nothing but glorified torture.”

    -“Dear God, I pray that you give me the strength to overcome my sinful desires. My spirit is willing but my flesh is weak. Please help me fight off temptation, and when temptation comes my way, may I focus my mind on you and your word. Forgive me and make me the person you want me to be. Amen”

    -This hardly seems like “glorified torture”. In fact, this is very similar to prayers that I say and have said when trying to overcome my pornography addiction. It a simple prayer, and saying it quietly in my head 2 or more times a day is a far cry from torturous.

  • Larry

    “You’re making a generalization which says ALL Christians are for these things.”

    No I am saying Christians like yourself. The ones who feel the compulsive need to justify atrocious malicious behavior against LGBT people as part of their religious belief.

    You deliberately misstated and omitting details in order to make your point. At no point did the parents act in accordance with professional advice on the subject, so your entire spiel about “treating a disorder” was a load of bull. Their treatment amounted to abuse and torture. Your attempt to sugar coat it is reprehensible and dishonest.

    My exorcism / drilling the hole in the head is a perfectly apt comparison to the kind of religious inspired abuse which happened. Its amazing what kind of nasty acts people will justify if they claim to be doing so on God’s behalf. Religious motivations do not absolve atrocious behavior.

    “Now I actually haven’t seen the statistics on LGBT teen suicides myself. ”

    Well then, that makes another claim you are making under false pretenses. You are either stating things which did not happen or claiming support which does not exist. It was the subject of a professional study.
    http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/press/press-releases/25-june-2014/
    http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/sltb.12104/abstract
    “This hardly seems like “glorified torture””

    Feel free to ignore the abuse, isolation and pressure put upon the teen prior to her suicide in favor of phony arguments and deliberate misrepresentations of facts.

    There is no way I am taking what you say seriously. You feel the need to lie as a matter of course.

  • JOSH M,

    When you defend your religion, you are defending ALL religion.
    And religion ruins everything it touches.

    SAUDI ARABIA DECLARES A FATWA ON SNOWMEN
    One cannot make up this nonsense if one tried.

    “We have determined that making snowmen is un-Islamic”

    http://www.ndtv.com/article/world/snowmen-declared-anti-islamic-as-snow-falls-in-saudi-arabia-647692?pfrom=home-topstories

  • Josh M

    “No I am saying Christians like yourself. The ones who feel the compulsive need to justify atrocious malicious behavior against LGBT people as part of their religious belief.”
    –Well…that claim is wrong since I don’t feel the compulsive need to justify atrocious malicious behavior against LGBT people as part of my religious belief. So clearly it can’t be true that “Christians like yourself” include me personally.

    “You deliberately misstated and omitting details in order to make your point. At no point did the parents act in accordance with professional advice on the subject, so your entire spiel about “treating a disorder” was a load of bull. Their treatment amounted to abuse and torture. Your attempt to sugar coat it is reprehensible and dishonest.”
    –Actually, I never once commented on this specific story. I don’t even remember if I used Leelah’s name in any of my previous posts. My initial comment was a comment on your comment in which you responded to Doc’s comment. I was merely using this specific story as a starting point (or launching point) for my more general opinion. I’m actually extremely ignorant on Leelah’s specific story and what lead to her suicide (which is mostly why I never once mentioned her or her parents). In fact, this specific article isn’t even about Leelah specifically, it’s basically an open letter from a Christian Mom. I’m actually ready to agree with you on Leelah’s parents action (I know no evidence to the contrary; maybe someone else on this board can comment specifically to that point). But, I don’t know how you made the conclusion that my argument was a load of bull; I didn’t say that any particular treatment was the proper one, I just said that gender dysphoria is a mental disorder that should be treated or cured. One of my original questions was, do you think gender dysphoria should be treated or cured? Why or why not? And I ask the question to you again.

    “Its amazing what kind of nasty acts people will justify if they claim to be doing so on God’s behalf. Religious motivations do not absolve atrocious behavior.”
    —I think people justify nasty acts all the time apart from a belief in God. Many comedians say many nasty things and they justify it by saying “it’s just in the name in comedy. Many people do nasty things and name money as their justification, or personal happiness as their justification, etc. Me personally…I’m also amazed at the level of depravity that human beings will go to, and in a lot of those actions, God plays a very small role. And I agree, religious motivations do not absolve atrocious behavior. When did I say otherwise? If I did say otherwise, can you quote it back to me please?

    “Now I actually haven’t seen the statistics on LGBT teen suicides myself. ”
    Well then, that makes another claim you are making under false pretenses. You are either stating things which did not happen or claiming support which does not exist. It was the subject of a professional study.
    http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/press/press-releases/25-june-2014/
    http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/sltb.12104/abstract”
    –I said that I have NOT seen the statistics, so exactly what claim did I making under false pretenses? I asked you to provide the links to the statistics, which you did, so thank you.

    “This hardly seems like “glorified torture””
    Feel free to ignore the abuse, isolation and pressure put upon the teen prior to her suicide in favor of phony arguments and deliberate misrepresentations of facts.”
    –If you actually look at what you wrote, you will see that you related the glorified torture to the “pray the gay away” sentiment. What you seemed to do was relate the “glorified torture” to the actions which led to Leelah’s suicide, but the exact quote was: “It is obvious the attitude of pray “the queer out of” people which religious groups such as your own like to endorse are nothing but glorified torture”. So you see how you actually related the “glorified torture” to prayer, and what I was saying, was that I don’t see how saying a simple prayer twice a day is evidence of glorified torture.

  • Larry

    Transgender issues are typically resolved through gender reassignment procedures usually after some time being seen by physicians and psychologists. Nothing having anything to do with a word your said. You were trying to pretend Doc was speaking about legitimate efforts to deal with such issue. Your “general opinion” is simply trying to backtrack on something you were called out on.

    Talking of transgender as a “lifestyle”, making excuses for abuses against trans people, ignoring how stigmas against them are promoted by many who call themselves Christians are many of the dishonest things which frame the discussion.

    “A suicide note documenting abusive therapy and deliberate isolation from her friends isn’t evidence? If that isn’t enough, bad news: Leelah’s mom went on the record and told CNN that she rejected her child’s trans identity because of her own religion. Carla Alcorn said she loved her “son” unconditionally, but ignoring her child’s identity, telling her she needed fixing, and turning a blind eye to her suffering is not love.”
    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2015/01/12/its-time-for-conservative-christians-to-take-responsibility-for-transphobia/#ixzz3Odstt79b

  • Chris LaRosa

    Seriously, “Doc”? I think you and ol’ Frank are battling for the biggest TROLL of the site. “Christians hope to alleviate the suffering of children and adults who experience same-sex attraction..” This is laughable! What’s the source of suffering, Doc? Someone’s inherent sexual orientation or people like YOU who have ensured to inflict psychological pain on every LGBT person you meet? And your presumptuous comment “…professionals who, umm, AGREE with — instead of disagree with — the Bible” is simply immature. A LOT of Christians “agree with the Bible” and read it in CONTEXT and work hard not to misapply scripture. Admit it: you twist and pick and choose what scripture that suits YOU and YOUR lifestyle and preferences. If you don’t, you’re a liar and you know it.

  • Chris LaRosa

    T-R-O-L-L

  • Ken

    “When I was a few months pregnant with you and the perinatologist told me that the prenatal blood test “showed no signs of Y chromosomes,” I knew that you were a girl.”

    AND YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A GIRL.

    According to science, nature and no matter what the LGBT. atheist and the “progressives” do to mutilate your physical body.

    How fascinating that LGBT activists and their “legion” of supporters are trying to make the parents in this case the bad people.

    Yes, yes, this is a truly evil aspect to all of this and it isn’t coming from Christians that live as Christians should.

    How many young people that realize they have become a Christian throw themselves in front of a semi?

    How many people embrace the LGBT lifestyle and commit suicide?

    Look to the cause for the effect.

    And stop the bullying and hate speech towards Christians that will not pay the piper for progressive dances.

  • Frank

    I don’t think you understand that word.

  • Frank

    Shhh the truth will upset the fools.

  • Lily, thank you so much for addressing this sensitive topic.

    I’m a Christian. I’m intersex (my body isn’t entirely male or female). And I’m an operator for Trans Lifeline 1 (877) 565-8860.

    One of the saddest parts of this for me is that Christians would rather parrot what some radical feminists say than what the Bible teaches. God shows compassion towards those with sex differences.

    Some intersex people would have been considered barren women. They’re given special promises. (See Isaiah 54.)

    Some intersex people would have been considered eunuchs. Eunuchs are given special promises. (See Isaiah 56.)

    While Leelah may not have been intersex, the Bible also deals with her situation with compassion. Matthew 19:12 talks about three types of eunuchs. (1) those who were that way from their mother’s womb, (2) those made so by men, and (3) those who choose to be so for the sake of the Kingdom.

    Eunuchs aren’t considered male by God’s law. Nor female. They weren’t allowed in the congregation in the Old Testament. The Gospel is, however, freely offered to them. (See Acts 8.) Nothing beyond faith in Christ is required of them. And they are never condemned for being eunuchs. Or making themselves eunuchs.

    Some change legal sex for the sake of the Kingdom. (Once again, see Matthew 19:12.)

    Even if someone, as a parent, disagrees that this applies to trans* people in general or their child in particular, it at least demonstrates that God shows compassion to those with sexual differences, and that some differences aren’t condemned as sin.

    I would be happy to discuss this in more detail with any parents who are struggling with this.

    Yours in Christ,
    Lianne Simon