T-ball is socialism! 6 ways t-ball teaches leftist values (COMMENTARY)

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First T-Ball Game, March 2013. Photo by Josh Grenier via Flickr Creative Commons.

Josh Grenier via Flickr Creative Commons

First T-Ball Game, March 2013. Photo by Josh Grenier via Flickr Creative Commons.

First T-Ball Game, March 2013. Photo by Josh Grenier via Flickr Creative Commons.

First T-Ball Game, March 2013. Photo by Josh Grenier via Flickr Creative Commons.

Today’s post is a break from the normal number-crunching, clear-eyed analysis on religion & politics. Instead, it’s a call to action, even if it may be too late to change.

T-ball, that little sibling of baseball and softball, is not the all-American sport it pretends to be. It has become a tool to teach our children left-wing socialism. Not real socialism, granted, but definitely the Obama-ain’t-a-real-American-socialism that all red-blooded (pun-intended) Americans loathe.

The Europeans who read this blog and probably thinking, “what’s t-ball? and how can I use it to teach children the valuesof socialism?” It’s a simple game. T-ball is just like baseball except there is no pitcher. The baseball sits on top of a stick. Young children swing at the ball as if it were a pinata.

Seems harmless, right? Wrong! Here are five ways t-ball turns kids into leftists.

1. There are no “winners” Americans have a phrase: “ties are like kissing your sister.” We don’t believe in soccer/football ties. In baseball, the game goes on and on and on until one side wins. In t-ball, there is no score. In our local league, there are three innings. Each player bats once. Each player gets on base. Each player gets to run the bases. And at the end, “it’s a tie!” You know what you call players in a game with no winners? Losers.

2. Batting helmets = nanny-state-over-regulation  Look at the picture above. Notice anything weird? It’s not the bat flying out of his hands (that’s typical). It’s not that the ball is hit (which is rare). It’s the helmet. Why does anyone need a batting helmet in t-ball?! Helmets protect a batter from being hit by a pitch. In t-ball, the ball is a stationary object balanced on the end of a stick. Nonetheless, batters must wear helmets because…well, it’s the rules.

3. Parents made into mere by-standers Parents bring their children to the game, but then they must hand them off to the “experts” to coach them. These “experts” know nothing more about t-ball than the rest of us. Even worse, they’re the weak-willed parents who believe that everyone needs to sacrifice for good of the collective. As a reward, they are able to pass on this belief to all of our children while we, as parents, can merely watch.

4. Big brother is watching Literally.

5. Government ball fields Major League Baseball isn’t the only organization to suck from the teet of big government. Nearly every t-ball game is played on fields owned and operated by government. And because they own the fields, they get to call the shots. That’s how the government begins to wrap its tentacles around us. By the time our children are older, they’ll be so used to it that we won’t even notice the squeezing.

6. Free handouts for everyone! If Rome fell because it gave citizens bread, then our downfall will be juice boxes and snack packs. At the end of this pseudo-competition, each child receives a free handout. Each player is rationed the same allotment, regardless of their play. Players eat and drink at the expense of those of us who earned them. There are no incentives. There is no risk of failure. It’s a recipe for disaster.

What can be done? I don’t know. I’m going to think about our options while driving my made-in-America SUV to the ball field. I may not like t-ball, but I need to take some pics for Facebook.

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  • samuel johnston

    Very droll Tobin.
    Seriously though, sportsmanship, and the building of character, has been banished from American sports. Winning, money, success, is all that counts. This is my idea of evidence of moral decline in our society.
    For the non-particpants it is worse. They are encouraged to be “fans”- meaning just send money, and watch, and grow fat and weak. Disgusting!

  • Sound amazing! Thanks so much for your post