Israeli court asked to restrain God

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(RNS) An Israeli man says God is mean. So he asked a judge in a Haifa court for a restraining order to protect him from the Almighty.

The man said he had called the local police for help at least 10 times in the last three years, The Times of Israel reported Wednesday (May 4).

The story was first reported on Walla!, an Israeli Web portal.

The man represented himself in court. No attorney for God was present.

“He argued that over a three-year period God, had exhibited a seriously negative attitude toward him, although details of just what divine mischief he had borne the brunt of were not mentioned in the report,” according to The Times of Israel.

The judge declined the request for a restraining order and called it “ludicrous.”

God has faced legal challenges before. In India this year, the Hindu god Hanuman was summoned to court to answer claims that a temple dedicated to him was blocking traffic; a Kenyan man sued Italy and Israel in 2013 for the crucifixion of Jesus; and Nebraska state Sen. Ernie Chambers sued God for natural disasters in 2007.

In the Nebraska case, God answered the suit. The Associated Press reported a filing from the Almighty “miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here — poof!”

No such miracle occurred for the Israeli man, who, the judge suggested, needed help, but not from the court.

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