25 Halloween costumes that won’t lead you to damnation

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A dog dressed as Pope Francis poses for a photograph during the annual Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade in the Manhattan borough of New York City, on October 24, 2015. Photo courtesy of Reuters/Stephanie Keith

A dog dressed as Pope Francis poses for a photograph during the annual Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade in the Manhattan borough of New York City, on October 24, 2015. Photo courtesy of Reuters/Stephanie Keith

(RNS) Religious folk face a tough dilemma every October: is the fun of Halloween worth risking eternal conscious torment? Will God ever forgive your pagan-loving debauchery? The Literalist has you covered this year.  You are sure to avoid heavenly punishment if your costume is divine. Here is a list of ways to keep the faith with religious costumes:

  • Sheet with holes = Holy Ghost
  • Stand in portable kiddie pool = John the Baptist
  • Robe + tray of deli meat = The Deli Lama
  • Robe + loofa = Bathsheeba
  • Grab the grapes, oranges and apples from around your kitchen = Fruits of the Spirit
  • One set of angel wings = Cherubim
  • Two sets of angel wings = Seraphim
  • Have surplus salt in your pantry? Go as Lot’s wife.
  • Zombie costume = Lazarus
  • Several different colored coats = Joseph
  • T-shirt with question mark on it = God according to liberals
  • Make America Great Again hat + Bible = Trumpvangelical
  • Evan McMullin t-shirt + Bible = #NeverTrump evangelical
  • Colorful pantsuit + leave your Bible at home = Hillary Clinton the Methodist

Going as a group to a Halloween party? Religion is always more fun in groups:

  • Ten women with lamps = Parable of the ten virgins
  • Ten men with leather straps = A minyan
  • Gay couple with fig leaves = Adam and Steve
  • Lesbian couple in robes = Naomi and Ruth
  • Robe + two friends in refrigerator boxes = Moses and the ten commandments
  • Two identical white button down shirts + name tags = Mormon missionaries
  • Four horsemen of the apocalypse
  • Carry around a severed head = Salome
  • Baby + mother + father in robes = Jesus, Mary and Joseph

None of these excite you? One final option is just leaving a pile of clothes at the party and going home. Congrats on being Elect for the Rapture.

And finally, don’t forget your pets. Dress your dog as Pope Francis or check out this Hebrew cat costume.