c. 1997 Religion News Service

UNDATED _ In their book”Romancing the Shadow: Illuminating the Dark Side of the Soul”(Ballantine), psychotherapists Connie Zweig and Steve Wolf tell how to heighten self-awareness of the personal shadow.

Often, said Zweig, we can see our shadow reflected in psychological”projections”_ strong reactions to people we interact with.

A person may meet someone for the first time and be repulsed by their aggression, or find their helplessness or confusion offensive. Such exaggerated responses to someone else, Zweig said, may be a clue that”there’s some disowned part of ourself that’s being activated.” Intimate relationships are another forum for shadow-work, Zweig said.”If a spouse points out that this is the third time this week we’ve been late without calling ahead, and wonders what’s going on then, there’s something hidden in our behavior that needs to be uncovered.” The dark side emerges in dreams and fantasies, as well. Dreams of thieves or hooded intruders, and taboo thoughts and fantasies, may signify that a shadow character _ some part of us that might be threatening in waking life _ is trying to get our attention.

Even more significantly, Zweig said, the shadow appears in the compulsive behaviors that can sabotage even the most moral person. The constant craving of a person with an eating disorder or drug addiction, or repetitive, self-destructive thoughts are the dark lid concealing an inner well of emptiness, loneliness or fear.

To help weather these psychic disturbances, Wolf says, it helps to train oneself to recognize those physical and emotional cues that announce the onset of an emotional episode, much the same way dark skies presage a tornado. “Just as the farmer goes into his cellar to wait out the tornado,”Wolf said,”so a person in the grip of a compulsion can go within themselves to deal with their very intense feelings of loneliness, anger or fear.” Centering through prayer, meditation, or journal writing helps a person to work with this material rather than burying it again, which only increases the risk of further self-sabotaging behavior,”Zweig said.

To some, shadow-work may seem like drudgery, but sticking with it yields a rich spiritual harvest. “There’s gold in the dark side,”said Wolf.”The part of ourselves that we deny comes bearing gifts. The paradox here is that by accepting parts of ourselves that we have deemed unacceptable we return to ourselves great gifts and jewels that we’ve lost sight of. It’s about honoring the gifts of our own being in order to claim our own wholeness.”

MJP END PEAY