(RNS) — Our world seems on fire, fueled by division, discord and deceit. From the local to the international, there are those who would use our differences to deepen our divides. Yet, in every community, and in every sector of society, there are people of faith (and no faith at all) who stand ready to partner in taking on our most pressing challenges. But they are not quite sure how; particularly when the task at hand requires them to work with someone who does not look, vote or pray as they do.
I use the phrase “multibelief” because, increasingly, there are many — call them secularists, atheists or humanists — who have no religious belief at all; but they do have their own moral framework. This framework rooted in the absence of religious belief can become its own belief system, ordering life’s decisions as any religion might. Out of respect for these folks, I use “multibelief” instead of “multifaith” or “interfaith.”
In my 35 years as a professional — serving as a United States Marine infantry officer, as an executive in a global NGO working at the intersection of religion and realpolitik in authoritarian contexts, as an educator teaching leadership and engagement, and as an adviser to a global philanthropy — I have found that to engage the world, you have to have a soft heart, a hard head and ready hands.
As the new year begins, the following three guidelines might be useful in your own engagement of the world and beliefs around you: Listen and observe with your heart; verify with your head; and engage with your hands. Helpfully, perhaps, think of it as how to “L.O.V.E.” your neighbor.
Listen and Observe with your heart: Listening always begins with yourself. And, I would argue, understanding yourself always begins with what you believe, and how those beliefs shape your engagement of those who do not share your beliefs. Listening also means understanding others as they understand themselves. If I am to love my neighbor, I must love them in a language and logic that they understand — otherwise it is not love. As my dad has always said: “Know your own faith at its deepest best, and enough about your neighbor’s to respect it.”
Observing with the heart is similar, as you seek to understand the patterns of a person or place before engaging them. This process begins and ends with humility, because, simply, there are things you will never understand about a person or place. One time I felt I had someone from another culture figured out, as this person, seemingly, sought to dominate the group. I later learned this person was the oldest in the group, and in that culture, the oldest not only speaks first, but by doing so, gives permission to younger people to engage. Stay humble.
Humility enables learning. When you listen and observe with the heart, you not only learn more about a different context, you also learn more about yourself, and your beliefs. My non-Christian friends have made me a better Christian. I have learned to better articulate what I believe, even as I have been enriched by their different perspectives on virtues, theology and geopolitics.
Verify with your head. Do your homework. Ask the tough questions. Put yourself in the other person’s context. What does “success look like” as you honor your own values and mission, while respecting the other person or place? What does my evaluation mean for my negotiation and communication? Do potential partners have the capacity to not only execute the plan, but to execute with excellence? Do not tolerate mediocrity in the name of grace, or money.
Watch out for “interfaithism.” Interfaith is a good word, and many around the world would define it according to what I am describing in this article. But what I mean by “interfaithism” is the gathering of religious leaders for meetings and conferences that accomplish nothing more than a photo op. Such conferences can be initial steps that lead to practical programs; but when they merely lead to more conferences, two things happen. Foremost, the issue at hand takes a back seat to the photo. Second, the credibility of the religious leaders involved is lessened.
In other words, steward your resources by verifying your partners. You owe it to your faith, your community and your organization to make sure you are going to work with people who do things. Do not be afraid to ask potential partners about their impact to date, or others about that impact.
Engage with your hands. Listening, observing and verifying should result in a reflective reminder: The person next to you — from your spouse and family to local and global partners — is not you. True engagement begins when you do not project yourself onto others, but appreciate them in their own context, as they understand themselves.
So roll up your sleeves. Work with those not like yourself. Do something practical for your community according to the common values of the beliefs present — e.g., compassion, justice, mercy — while not watering down any of those beliefs, especially your own. I have found that working together creates relationships where you can talk about irreconcilable political and theological differences. Such relationships also reveal strategies that otherwise would not have emerged. This kind of love — listening, observing, verifying and engaging — toward your neighbor accelerates impact and deepens sustainability because there is a respect, and resulting trust, that transcends the difference.
That said, there is also a time not to engage; or as King Solomon tells us, “a time to refrain.” There are times when engaging does not help but hurts — because the situation is not ripe, or because the (potential) partner is unwilling, or worse, unable to engage in a mutually respectful manner. Deciding when not to engage requires great discernment based on your listening and observing.
Ours are tumultuous times. But I think they are times where we are moving from a minimalist tolerance of others not like us — merely allowing for their existence — to the responsibility to engage and respect the inherent dignity and freedom of conscience of others, while protecting their choices as equal citizens. This kind of covenant with each other — of mutually respectful engagement — is also known as pluralism. It is not a pluralism where all are assimilated into the majority culture, but it is a pluralism where all are integrated according to the common values of dignity, equality and the transparent rule of law.
(Chris Seiple is president emeritus of the Institute for Global Engagement. He is a senior fellow at Love Your Neighbor Community, the Haifa Laboratory for Religious Studies and the Comparative Religion Program at the University of Washington. He is co-editor, with Dennis Hoover, of “The Routledge Handbook of Religious Literacy, Pluralism, and Global Engagement.” The views expressed in this commentary do not necessarily reflect those of RNS.)