How traditional biblical views can cut off love, enlightenment and even life

Relationships should be the lens to our theology. It’s not only biblical it’s also necessary for a life-sustaining interpretation of scripture.

Photo credit: Joshua Martin
Photo credit: Joshua Martin

Photo credit: Joshua Martin

Theology doesn’t happen in a vacuum.

We come to understand our faith through a prism of relationships.


So why is it that when Christians reach a new or different – for them – understanding of scripture and how to live their faith in relationship with others, we sort them into two camps?

One camp: The people who base their theology in the narrow terms of only traditional male-female relationships.

And the other camp: The people who – through relationships with LGBT people as family, friends, neighbors, co-workers and congregants — accept or “affirm” them as fellow travelers in faith.

Affirming individuals in their identity in Christ, their sexual and gender identities, and their relationships is important. It makes a huge difference not only to the people being being accepted but also to the people who have found a way, in their faith, to accept their neighbors – all their neighbors.

Here are three ways to understand the impact of relationships on affirming theology on same-sex relationships.


READ: Tony Campolo announces support for inclusion of “gay Christian couples”


1) It doesn’t matter who you know but that you know and care about people beyond yourself.

This is why every time someone from a traditional Christian denomination steps forward, announcing their affirmation of LGBT believers, it starts with a personal story. A family member. A friend. A couple. Someone they already know.

This relationship marks a turning point in their theology when they begin to reevaluate their sincerely held beliefs. This was the case for Christian ethicist David Gushee, Pastor Danny Cortez, theologian James Brownson, Christian blogger Rachel Held Evans, and evangelical leader Tony Campolo.

It’ll be the case for others to come.

Traditional conservatives write off these individuals as simply biased toward their friends and family. This is particularly true when Christian parents affirm an LGBT Child. Critics assume they are just letting emotions cloud their judgement of their child (as if every parent’s judgement is not clouded by love).


Yet, it’s traditionalists who have their approach to theology all wrong.

What Christians against same-sex relationships are trying to do is divorce the LGBT experience from their theology.

That simply will not work and it’s unbiblical.The word of God was made flesh for this very reason. Jesus informs our legalistic views of theology. He told us to include Gentiles in the church and to include all at the table. He dined with tax collectors and befriended prostitutes. The relationships Jesus formed with sinners are a model for us.

Relationships allow us to humanize a subject.  We aren’t just talking about theology: we are talking about people. We’re talking about me. We’re talking about families and friends. We shouldn’t be treated like we’re nothing, like theoretical subjects. We are in your lives. We matter.


READ: Let the churches say amen to ban on LGBT ‘conversion therapy’


2) Trying to talk theology without talking about the real people in our lives is dangerous

Our theology affects those around us.

When families reject their children, it increases the likelihood for suicide among LGBT youth.

Reparative therapy has proven to be harmful.  Medical professionals acknowledge that there is nothing inherently unhealthy about being LGBT. Indeed, last month a jury found that offering such therapy is “consumer fraud.”

When Christians affirm same-sex couples they are opening their minds and hearts and eyes to see what these relationships mean not only to the couple but to the wider word. They add to the love in the world.


I’ve met thousands of LGBT people of faith who are better Christians than many who condemn them. Their faith compels them to be part of a church that, for the most part, preaches against their humanity.

There are devoted same-sex Christian couples raising their kids in the church so that their kids get the experience of being part of a community of Christians. There are LGBT seminarians finishing years of study for churches that will never accept their service.


READ: Why insensitive evangelical rhetoric on LGBT youth is toxic


3) Time and time again Christians change.

We already know what it means to have our experience inform our theology. In the civil rights era, we came to read Genesis 9:25, which speak of curse of ham, in a different light. Sometimes it’s because we were simply wrong (see slavery) and other times we upheld archaic patriarchal standards (see women’s role in church) to cloud our judgement.

But we have (sometimes) repented for our views and have come to better understandings in our theology. The same must be true with same-sex relationships.

We should use our experiences together as the lens to our theology. It’s not only biblical it’s also necessary for a life-sustaining interpretation of scripture.

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