One of the principle complaints about marriage equality is that children would not have access to a mother and a father. Some even go as far to say children need their biological parents.
However, anti-marriage equality proponents do not truly believe that. If they did they would have protested divorce, single parent homes, as well as adoption as vigorously as they oppose same-sex parents. Their issue is not with a lack of access to birth parents; their issue is with people of the same-sex raising children.
The Pope spoke earlier this month on his beliefs that children needed a mother and a father. Why? Because, according to Francis, of the differences between man and woman that are “complementary.”
“Children mature seeing their father and mother like this; their identity matures being confronted with the love their father and mother have, confronted with this difference,” Francis said.
But what exactly are the differences? I’ll speculate, since neither the Pope nor other religious pundits who hold similar beliefs have stated explicitly, that it’s the differences in biological sex between a man and a woman.
I think we should clear the air on this one. If you’re parenting with your genitals, you are parenting wrong – and should probably have your kids removed from your home.
A person’s sex or gender identity has no bearing on how well they raise a child. There are many ways different types of homes that children have been raised in that have allowed them to be healthy and prosper. That includes homes in which the parents are of the same-sex.
In a recent study from University of Colorado Denver, researchers assessed the studies out on same-sex parenting and confirmed there is a growing consensus that same-sex parents do not negatively affect children. There have been few dissenters to this consensus. Most anti-marriage proponents rely on “research” by Mark Regnerus. I use quotes because his “study” has been thoroughly debunked. Even Regnerus has admitted his methodology wasn’t sound and doesn’t actually reflect results of children raised by same-sex parents. (This, of course, doesn’t stop anti-marriage opponents from using his fraudulent research as sound scientific evidence.)
The science is there. Same-sex parents are just as good as straight parents. But I would argue that same-sex parents make better parents than straight parents.
Unlike straight people, mistakes aren’t possible for same-sex parents. There are no hiccups to getting pregnant. Same-sex couples go through a deliberate and thoughtful process to have children.
Through adoption, same-sex parents sometimes spend years preparing their homes just for the possibility of a child. Surrogacy isn’t an easy option either as it’s limited to couples who can fork up to six figures.
Same-sex parents have to go through a longer, more costly process to have kids than straight parents. They love children who aren’t genetically their own as if they were. That kind of love is exactly the type of love children need to flourish.
There is no doubt in my mind when they reach the end of that process, and finally get to hold their child, they will do everything humanly possible to be the very best parents they can be.
And many times, they put straight parents to shame.