"Happy Seasonal Depression Month!" one card by the indie card company Lady Pilot Letterpress reads. "Or months. Whatever, I can't even care anymore."
And this happy hello from Zeichen Press: "Each and every snowflake is unique and tries to bury you alive."
This year's sad and scary seasonal cards seem compounded by the recent divisive election and uncertainty about the incoming administration. It's not hard to find a foul-mouthed Christmas card featuring the candidate of your choice, or one with a Santa that expresses similar sentiments in words that can't be published here.
Some of that negativity stems from the greeting card industry itself. Sales of holiday cards — which account for 60 percent of all seasonal card sales — has declined steadily since the rise of email and social media, according to the Greeting Card Association. That has forced card companies to "niche out" — produce specialty cards like "anti-Christmas" Christmas cards.
Add to that the fact that Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa all overlap this year, beginning within a day or two of each other, and there are plenty of reasons to bah that humbug. With that in mind, here are some of this year's anti-holiday holiday cards, culled from the halls of Etsy.
And a warning — some of these cards are not for the faint of heart. They acknowledge that not everyone believes Jesus was the Son of God and that some people drink during the holidays (gasp!).
Ferocious beasts, dripping blood, dead animals. Perpetual Fungus card company captures the essence of 2016 in this holiday card.
The new, politically incorrect Christmas card suits the new, politically incorrect post-election climate. Card by Lady Pilot Letterpress.
Hey, even atheists send holiday cards. Card by Fine Line Design Emporium.
Who doesn't love a religious holiday with gambling and fried foods? Card by eEvil Ink Design.
For the Democrats (or maybe the Republicans?) on your list. From The Print Shop.
Santa Trump? Card by The Print Shop.
A much safer sentiment. Card by eEvil Ink Design.
A lump of coal would be more cheerful than this card. Card by Fine Line Design Emporium.
At least someone is having fun. Card by YeaOhGreetings.
Fire it up. Card by Hella Fresh Designs.
Send this one to the year 2016? Sparkvites letterpress card.