(RNS) — This guest column is from Carol Lynn Pearson, author of “The Ghost of Eternal Polygamy,” reacting to the 2025 curriculum for children of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This year, the entire denomination is studying church history, so it’s not surprising that the issue of plural marriage would come up.
But Pearson — and many others — can see major problems with the way it’s handled, especially because the church is presenting it as a good thing that came from the Lord. The curriculum uses Joseph Smith’s decision to practice polygamy as an object lesson that we should all have “faith to obey a law from the Lord, even when it’s hard.”
While it may be a step forward for the church to be acknowledging the reality of Smith’s plural marriage instead of trying to sweep that history under the rug, I think Pearson is correct that any theology that tells children to obey even if their conscience says not to is a step backward. — JKR
Guest column by Carol Lynn Pearson:
Author Carol Lynn Pearson.
This one took me by surprise. There it was — on the official website of my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — a short lesson to be taught in 2025 in Primary, the organization that serves the children, a cartoon storybook about plural marriage in our church’s history.
The children are assured that, even though Joseph Smith was reluctant to take more wives, God himself ordered our founding prophet, already a husband to Emma, to “marry” up to 40 women and girls. Some were even in their teens, and some were already married to other men. Historical research has demonstrated that some of Joseph’s “marriages” were sexual in nature. Stories suggest that many of these women did not want to become his wives but did so because they believed in Joseph’s divine authority.
What does this Primary lesson communicate to our kids?
Children will be indoctrinated with the understanding that if a “man of authority” tells us God wants us to do something we believe is wrong, we are to do it anyway. Child molesters will be very pleased.
Nothing in the history of our church continues to be as much of a painful mess as polygamy. In 2016 I wrote and published a book titled “The Ghost of Eternal Polygamy: Haunting the Hearts and Heaven of Mormon Women and Men.” It was the result of a snowball survey that was taken by more than 8,000 members and former members of the church. Among those, 15% thought our history of polygamy was just fine, while 85% said it was hurtful and wrong. In write-in comments, many said the history of polygamy damaged their sense of self, their relationships with the church, with God and often with family members, particularly spouses.
Despite the claim to have given up polygamy, our church is still devoted to it. A man can be married in the temple for eternity to several women sequentially with the promise that they will all be his in the next life.
Soon after the publication of “The Ghost of Eternal Polygamy,” I sent a copy of the book to each member of the First Presidency of the church, the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and other top leaders. I signed the books to each by name, “with appreciation and with the hope that you will lead us into a truly post-polygamy future.”
I knew I would not hear back from any of them, but soon I received the following email from my friend Curt Bench, the owner of a major LDS bookstore:
I learned from [Brigham Young University professor M.] that [BYU professor of religion and history H.] was asked by the Twelve Apostles to report about your book and … basically told them that it was their fault that the problem with “eternal polygamy” and the way people feel about it (as shown in your book) exists today. Nothing about their response.
I began to hope. Surely these good men would find a way, quickly or gradually, to rid our people of this harmful doctrine.
I was wrong. This new Primary lesson demonstrates that leaders of our church are determined that polygamy retain its place in history as a commandment of God. They are teaching that our place as members will always be to follow what the Brethren tell us God says, no matter the dictates of our minds and hearts.
I still receive letters and emails from women (and men) who thank me for “The Ghost of Eternal Polygamy,” telling me it has brought them great peace of mind, even saved their marriage.
Hundreds of messages tell a story similar to this one:
Joseph Smith ruined everything when he brought in plural marriage for eternity. This is hell, not heaven. I’m 69 and still worry this may become my hellish future that no, I will NEVER agree to. So heartbreaking. My brother says I could live polygamy and grin and bear if I had to. But I never will. I am distraught. Thank you for all you do.
I wrote back:
Please don’t be distraught over eternal polygamy! I’m convinced it is a fiction. A paper dragon. A nothing burger. It is the wind waking you at night making you think it is robbers. It is the dark monster under your bed that was never there!
Joseph’s polygamy came from his own creative mind, never from God. Eternal polygamy never was and never will be a reality. Please have peace of mind. Please sleep well. Please give this awful Ghost not one more ounce of your energy.
That is the message I wish I could give to every one of my sisters and brothers in this church of ours, this splendid church that yet carries in its doctrine an error. It’s an error that is not just bothersome, but — for believers — potentially poisonous.
The Brethren have shown that they can correct errors in our history. They have given significant attention to righting the wrongs done to our Black brothers and sisters, who were denied temple access and priesthood ordination for decades. Comparatively little has been done to right the wrongs done to women, who likely constitute a majority of the active members of the church.
It is my hope that the Primary teachers who are tasked with teaching that polygamy came from God will listen to their own personal guidance and teach accordingly.
(Carol Lynn Pearson is an author of more than 40 books and stage plays. She is an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and lives in Walnut Creek, California. One of her most famous books is “Goodbye, I Love You,” a powerful account of her marriage to a gay man, their struggle, divorce, ongoing friendship and her caring for him as he died of AIDS.)
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