c. 1999 Religion News Service

(Rabbi Rudin is the national interreligious affairs director of the American Jewish Committee.)

UNDATED _ My seminary speech teacher always taught that writing and delivering appropriate eulogies is one of the most difficult aspects of the rabbinical profession. Because of this, he made us write many”sample”eulogies and was a tough judge of our efforts.

Eulogies, by their very nature, must be custom-written and can be spoken only once. They differ from regular sermons because they are highly personal and not linked to religious holidays or the cycle of weekly biblical readings. And, unlike addresses given at weddings and other joyous rites of passage, eulogies are ultimately about loss and sorrow.

Sadly, Sen. Edward Kennedy, a Roman Catholic layman, has had to master this difficult art form over the decades. He has offered eulogies for his assassinated brother, Robert; his mother, Rose, who died at age 104; and his sister-in-law, Jackie, who lost her battle with cancer. The latest in this lachrymose series was the senator’s eulogy for John F. Kennedy Jr.

Although my speech teacher is no longer alive, I believe he would have given Ted Kennedy an”A”for the 10-minute tribute to his nephew. Although the eulogy was not broadcast, the printed text is available, and news reports indicate that the senator’s words had great impact on those who attended the memorial service in Manhattan.

In”deconstructing”Uncle Teddy’s tribute from a purely technical perspective, we discover a classic eulogy filled with both humor and solemnity, pain and comfort, remembrance and hope, and, of course, celebration and consolation.

The senator carefully followed protocol by acknowledging the presence of President Clinton, his wife and daughter. That requirement was quickly completed in the first paragraph and, quite properly, there were no more specific references to those present at the service.

But the eulogy was quite inclusive. By mentioning the last names of JFK Jr.’s many cousins, the senator sent a subliminal message to the world that the large Kennedy clan would endure. As in all good eulogies, special attention was paid to the deceased’s immediate survivors, in this case sister Caroline and her family. Ted Kennedy also was careful to mention his nephew’s wife and her sister who were passengers on the fateful flight to Martha’s Vineyard.

A meaningful eulogy must never be a resume of the dead person’s career. What is important at a memorial service are references to personal character and lasting influence. Kennedy limited mention of his nephew’s journalistic work as founder of the magazine George to a single paragraph. Personal reminiscences enrich eulogies and Kennedy correctly chose to include some”inside the family”vignettes that the outside world could not know.

In cases of accidental death, there are sometimes questions surrounding the dead person’s judgment or maturity. The senator was well aware that many questions surrounded his nephew’s need to fly solo instead of using a commercial flight. Kennedy boldly answered by saying that JFK Jr.”… flew his own plane, which is how he wanted it.” Placing the deceased in an accurate historical setting is necessary in memorial addresses. In one of the eulogy’s memorable lines, the senator achingly noted,”The whole world knew his name before he did.”In only nine words, we are immediately linked back in time to young John’s presidential father. In an allusion to the length of the JFK White House era, the senator said of his nephew:”And for a thousand days, he was a husband who adored the wife who became his perfect soul mate.” Because JFK Jr. had no children and was only 38 years old, his uncle poignantly paraphrased a well-known popular song by declaring,”He had only just begun.”And in another carefully crafted bond with his assassinated father, JFK Jr.’s”time .. was not doubled, but cut in half.” Sometimes eulogizers, in an act of brazen egotism, speak more about themselves than the deceased. Ted Kennedy resisted this temptation, but the 67-year-old senator did hold up a mirror to himself near the end of his eloquent address. His voice cracked when he used this graphic image:”We dared to think … that this John Kennedy would live to comb gray hair, with his beloved Carolyn at his side. But like his father, he had every gift but length of years.” Although Kennedy expressed only one religious sentiment throughout his eulogy, it is what everyone hopes for in death:”He and his bride have gone to be with his mother and father, where there will never be an end to love.” Well done, Teddy!

AMB END RUDIN