c. 2008 Religion News Service

(UNDATED) What began as Donna Freitas’ class on dating turned into a book titled “Sex & the Soul: Juggling Sexuality, Spirituality, Romance, and Religion on America’s College Campuses.”

Freitas, assistant professor of religion at Boston University, interviewed more than 100 students about their sexuality, romantic ideals and the prevalent “hookup” culture at seven colleges, including evangelical Christian, Catholic and public and private secular institutions.

Freitas found two radically opposed campus cultures of sexuality: one of extreme restraint at the evangelical schools, where virginity is prized; and a culture of extreme indulgence everywhere else, including the Catholic schools.

Despite these differences, students everywhere admitted to wanting more romance _ not sex _ in their lives. Freitas says religion and spirituality could play a larger role to help students navigate these issues.

(Some answers have been edited for length and clarity)

Q: You’re a Catholic. How did that serve you when dealing with romance and sexuality in college?

A: My own experience is very similar to the students I interviewed, ironically or not. Growing up, I had no instruction or discussion about dating, sex, romance, other than “don’t do it.” And it really didn’t occur to me that my faith tradition had anything to do with my romantic life when I was in college.

Q: You used theology to talk about sex in your first class on dating. Why theology?

A: I tend to teach courses that have the word spirituality in the title. There’s a lot of interest just in that word among college students. Even though students really divorced what they recognized as organized religion from their romantic lives, they really wanted spirituality to have something to do with it, whatever that was for them.

Q: Can you explain the gap between studies that show a growth in spirituality among college students, and the disconnect you found between religion and sex among these students?

A: Evangelicals aside, there is a real resistance to organized religion. Most of my students are so alienated from the idea that they are even allowed to draw boundaries with regard to their bodies and sexual selves. So when they read about the possibility of boundaries that are discussed within a religious framework or religious traditions, they’re fascinated. That’s where traditional religion could really enter dialogue with a wide range of youth.

Q: What finding surprised you the most?

A: One would think the colleges would divide according to religious affiliation, but they don’t. It’s evangelical colleges and everyone else. Students at Catholic schools showed up as nearly identical with regard to their opinions about sex and religion as students at non-religious schools. That’s a real wake up to Catholic colleges.

Second, across the board, almost everyone, both men and women, was dissatisfied with hookup culture. The fact that it’s both men and women is really important, because everyone assumes that hookup culture is really bad for women. Men are just as unhappy.

I asked them to talk about their romantic ideals. Almost all the students left sex _ even kissing _ out of the picture, and so romance was almost asexual whether you were evangelical or not. It’s a very traditional, romantic, asexual, a very restrained sense of eros, in their romantic notions.

Q: You write about the “purity ideal” at evangelical schools. What is it?

A: It can be anything from waiting for your first kiss at the altar to everything but sexual intercourse. Generally it involves a pretty serious level of sexual restraint both in thought and practice prior to marriage.

Q: Despite the purity pressures, your research shows evangelical students do hook up _ and even have sex _ before marriage. How does that affect them?

A: There were just a few examples of students who had sex who were able to process it in a positive way, or in an empowering way, or in a way where they had asked for forgiveness and moved on. But most of the students who had had sex were incredibly ashamed, shattered in some ways. They felt like they couldn’t turn to God, they certainly couldn’t tell friends.

Q: Yet you say evangelical schools best address the complexity of sexuality. What are they doing that other institutions could emulate?

A: At evangelical colleges there’s a fostering of vibrant, intergenerational conversations, intentional conversation, about sex, dating and romance. Even if students wished they could be more explicit or honest about what they were doing, there was still the sense that there was an effort to really talk to us about this.

Q: You conclude that religion and spirituality should play a larger role in the public conversation to guide students. How do you see that happening at the non-evangelical schools?

A: Most colleges and universities have a mission statement, and often it talks about things like human dignity and respect. That’s a very, very rich place to start a conversation about hookup culture. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if my right to human dignity and respect on this campus extends to my ability to set boundaries around what I will do, or allow another to do or not do, to my body on a Friday night?

KRE/JM END CRABTREE900 words

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