(RNS2-JUNE15) The Rev. Marvin A. McMickle is senior pastor of Antioch Baptist Church in Cleveland and professor of homiletics at Ashland Theological Seminary. For use with RNS-MCMICKLE-COLUMN, transmitted June 15, 2009. Religion News Service photo courtesy Antioch Baptist Church.
(UNDATED) While the Bible emerged out of a culture that was patriarchal, where the majority of power and influence was reserved only for men, most of the best stories in the Bible are about women, mothers and the matriarchal influence.
There are the consecutive miracles of God placing life in the aging and barren wombs of Sarah, Rebecca and Rachel. There is the fervent prayer of Hannah who asks for a son and then conceives Samuel as her child. The story of Elizabeth who conceived John the Baptist in her old age and the story of Mary who conceived Jesus out of a virgin womb are just a few of the Bible stories that focus on and celebrate mothers and motherhood.
June is the month when America celebrates Father’s Day, but that celebration almost always falls far short of the energy and enthusiasm invested in Mother’s Day. Flowers are given, corsages are worn and restaurants are filled.
However, when Father’s Day rolls around, none of that seems to be true. Why is it that cultures and communities that hold fast to a religious text that seems to promote male headship seem also to hold the office of motherhood in such reverence?
Is it because many of us have been through the experience of seeing our fathers abandon us or ignore us when we were growing up? Is it because many of us know that it was our mothers who stood by us when our fathers refused to fulfill their duties?
I was 10 years old when my father walked away from his family — my mother, my older brother and me. He left a note on the door that said, “Good bye, good luck, can’t stay, can’t cope.”
Not only did he leave us, but he also took most of the household furniture and almost all the money in the bank. All we had left was an apartment we could no longer afford and a stack of bills.
I remember telling myself when my own son was born that I was not going to do to him what my father had done to me. I was not going to be so busy working that I would not have time to be an active part of his life. I was not going to walk away when things got tough or challenging. I was going to sacrifice on my end so that his life could be as full and secure as possible.
I was going to attend science fairs, band concerts, athletic events, parent-teacher conferences and birthday parties. I was going to help with homework and be home for as many evening meals as I could possibly share with the family. I was determined not to be an absentee father of a child whom I helped to conceive but refused to help nurture. I was going to be a father who might someday be deserving of whatever celebrations occur on Father’s Day.
I mention this at a time when the shameful phrases “my baby daddy” and “my baby momma” point to the shocking fact that, in the African-American community, about 70 percent of the children born are born out of wedlock and usually with absentee and unconcerned fathers. If only the energy and passion that some people invest in being sure that all children have the right to be born could be expanded into insisting that all children who are born have a right to a father who will be a part of that child’s life as long as they are both in the world together!
Father’s Day is a great time for our society to reflect on what we expect from the men who bear that title. Arguing for the biblical concept of male headship in the home and in society rings hollow if men are not committed to sharing fully in the responsibility of raising their children.
The patriarchal culture of the Bible speaks about God as a father who will never fail or forsake his children. May that be true for all fathers everywhere.
(The Rev. Marvin A. McMickle is senior pastor of Antioch Baptist Church in Cleveland and professor of homiletics at Ashland Theological Seminary. A version of this column first appeared in The (Cleveland) Plain Dealer.)
