Trump Tower in Manhattan

You’ve got to hand it to Donald Trump. He’s the guy who can go toe to toe with both God and Roger Ailes and still win the Republican nomination.

“Get rid of the bitch!” he says to Ailes, “or I’m not coming to the table.” “Pretty please,” begs O’Reilly. “It’s me or your ratings,” says Trump. “You know what you can do with that microphone?”

As for God, sure, Trump concedes that the Bible is way bigger than The Art of the Deal, and even totes the Big Book around on the campaign trail. But does anyone believe it? Americans (according to Pew) think he’s less religious than Bernie Sanders, and Bernie’s an outright freakin’ atheist. Little wine, little cracker, little Falwell, hah!

And yet, he’s up to 41 percent with GOP voters.

I’m figuring the evangelicals see Trump as your basic Old Testicle, uh Testament, Figure. Like Abraham.

“Yo, God, a guy like you won’t  destroy Sodom if it’s got 50 righteous people.” How about 45?” “Thirty-five?” “Thirty?” “Twenty?” “Ten?”

“Okay 10.”

Now that was a deal.