c. 2007 Religion News Service

(UNDATED) “I am so tired of Microsoft products,” I muttered while waiting for my computer’s operating system to respond.

Then I caught myself. Stop whining, I thought. You’re not helpless. Buy a different brand, or learn to live with this one. But enough whining.

After 26 years of keeping television out of our house, we took a flyer on cable when moving to New York. I discover the ads are worse than ever. Stool softeners, binge-drinking encouragement, horrid children being catered to by weak parents. Most programs aren’t any better.

But again, enough whining. Turn off the tube. Read a book, go for a walk, see a movie. No more muttering, as if I were a helpless captive.

Church leaders, too, need to stop their whining. Running out of money is a management problem, not the membership’s fault. Another stewardship season of whining about insufficient giving won’t prompt more giving, but merely convince members their church is ineffective.

Take action: cut the budget to the level people will support, and let them feel the impact of dwindling ministries. Sell the expensive property, and escape the burden of its overhead. Even better, give members an institution whose vision is exciting and whose ministries are worth supporting.

I remember seminary as a time of non-stop whining. Like children bemoaning grownups, seminarians whined about unfair bishops and unfair church bureaucracies. I realize now we were just setting ourselves up for careers where we’re treated like children. No wonder people have lost confidence in their churches.

In politics and in churches, too many interest groups whine about the behavior of other people. Instead of whining about polluters, take action against them. Instead of whining about spammers, mobilize and defend. Instead of whining about incompetent politicians, support competence and vote for change. Instead of whining about groups whose religion differs from yours, compete in the marketplace of ideas and learn to trust diversity.

Whining trivializes ourselves and our concerns. Whining traps us in the child’s role and makes it easy for the powerful to ride roughshod over us. Look at how Congress and the White House compete to see whose whining prevails, while special interests claim the spoils and citizens lose confidence in government.

Whining encourages delusion. It feels like action, but it isn’t action. It feels like making a positive difference with one’s views, but it’s just noise that other people tune out. Look at the portentous resolutions and mission statements that church gatherings labor over, only to see the world go right on as if nothing had been said _ not because the world is stupid, but because, in fact, nothing was said.

Whining strains community. As childlike noise, it reduces public discourse to sandlot bickering. As an admission of powerlessness, it gives free rein to the aggressive. As rarely rising above the child’s cry _ “You don’t play fair!” _ it stirs anxiety about unfairness without naming or verifying actual behavior and then, when injustice is identified, leaves citizens feeling too helpless to respond.

Whining is lazy and manipulative. It asserts a claim to a benefit without actually deserving it. It alleges entitlement without actually doing the hard work that opens doors to being hired, getting promoted, or making the sale.

When people whined to Jesus, he cut them off and told them to examine their lives, to be “dressed for action” and to form sturdy, inclusive circles of mission and mercy.

(Tom Ehrich is a writer, church consultant and Episcopal priest based in New York. He is the author of “Just Wondering, Jesus,” and the founder of the Church Wellness Project, http://www.churchwellness.com. His Web site is http://www.morningwalkmedia.com.)

KRE/CM END EHRICH650 words

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