c. 2005 The Joyful Noiseletter

(UNDATED) Words to start the New Year

A New Year’s blessing: “May the sun shine on your day. May the clouds pass over your troubles. May the stars twinkle on your evening. And may the misty moonlight brighten your journey as you make your way to Heaven.”

_ Rev. John H. Fahey, Washington, W.Va.

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For 20 years, we’ve collected pulpit and bulletin “bloopers that gnash the teeth.” Here’s one sent by Pastor Paul Champion:

In the January bulletin of Wolcott (Ind.) Christian Church:

“Order your Super Bowel sub sandwiches today! $6 for a foot-long.”

X X X

“Then they gave their newborn the name revered in all the territory _ `Coach.”’

_ Lutheran Pastor Denny Brake, Raleigh, N.C.

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Some little children in a Catholic school were acting out a wedding ceremony. The “priest” asked the bride, “Do you take him for better or worse?”

“For better,” the little girl said quickly.

The miniature priest continued, “for richer or poorer?”

“For richer,” said the miniature bride.

_ via Sister Mary Kathleen Glavich, Cleveland.

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Signs & wonders

Sign outside a department store:

“Semi-Annual After-Christmas Sale.”

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“As you sit there today pondering Christmas and perhaps thinking of the bills you’re going to get, look at it this way _ think of all the garage sales for which you provided merchandise.”

_ Author unknown.

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“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”

_ Victor Borge

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“Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most and rewards you for your courage.”

_ Erma Bombeck

(Got some holy humor or funny religious anecdote you’d like to share? E-mail it to: JoyfulNZ(at)aol.com or postal-mail to: A Joyful Noise, P.O. Box 895, Portage, MI 49081.)

KRE/JL END RNS

Editors: This December, RNS subscribers can use free samples of this new column of holiday religious humor, accompanied by a cartoon. Download jokes, a cartoon and a logo as you normally would, searching by subject or slug, or you can click on the “Joyful Noise” logo on our home page. We won’t charge your account.

The text (jokes) are also below. We ask, however, that you package the cartoon and jokes together. Please credit Joyful Noise, which would like your readers to send them funny material. A new column will be posted each Friday. Finally, let us know if you’d like us to continue this column when the new year begins.