• Ben in oakland

    For the record, a great many religious people also condone polyamory, at least for themselves.

    The difference is, the nonreligious people are willing to admit it, while the religious people prefer to keep their sins unknown to others, especially their wives and husbands. Send is not as in until it is found out.

    Not to mention, we have it on the authority of Jesus himself out of the man looks good lost upon a woman, he is committed adultery with her in his heart. Jesus, being an egalitarian, as we are told, probably thinks the same thing about women.

  • Elledra

    This is a situation where I’d like to see more information. E.g., does a preference for polyamory or monogamy break down according to gender? (Do women, for example, or men have the stronger preference for polyamory? For monogamy?) Also: do the people being polled understand that “polyamory” can include both polyandrous (a woman may have multiple husbands) as well as polygynous (a man has multiple wives) relationships? This could be a chance to confirm or break certain social stereotypes about men and women . . .

  • ben in oakland

    between slight dyslexia and an autocorrect that slips right by me, I can’t seem to get a break.

    A sin is not a sin unless it is found out.

  • Brian Pellot

    More demographics can be found in this post’s second link, repasted here –


  • Eric Ballas

    Are there any statistics for those living in an open marriage.

  • Voice of Reason

    since when did anyone in america care what was morally acceptable? morality isn’t a ‘thing’ – perhaps the question should be ‘do you find it socially acceptable.’

  • Larry

    When the polygamists feel like drafting proposed revisions to various civil laws to fit their arrangements in, and do so in a way which is equitable for all spouses involved, we can care about legally recognizing it.

  • Brian 🙂
    Thanks for the article and stat. I am coming up with a website PolyDate.me for multiple dating and polyamorous dating. Project details are published in Indiegogo. Please check out and comment with suggestions. I need to your support to make it happen. As an author you can do wonders to support this project.

    Thank you.

  • Brianna Kempe

    I’d like to point out that not all polyamorous individuals, myself included, would agree with the definition specified for “polyamory.”

    Typically, polyamory relates to the relationship, regardless of sexual practices. Yes, most people identify a romantic relationship’s importance by the presence of a sexual connection, but not all do. Outside sexual partners handled consensually is more accurately identified by the catch-all term of “ethical non-monogamy.”

  • Bernardo

    The major issue with polyamory? The greatly increased chances of an unplanned pregnancy and an STD infection.

  • Johnathan Collier

    Actually, I’d be willing to wager polyamorous relationships have much lower rates of infection than the general populace, or at least very similar rates. The poly community as a whole is very big on safe sex and frequent STD testing, and open and honest communication is nearly universally considered key on polyamory. What that means is if you have an infectious disease, you tell your partners.

    In fact, the poly community has a specific term for relationships that have reached the level where unprotected sex is happening called Fluid Bonding, and add in the fact that many polyamorous relationships are closed relationships in which all members are intimate only within their circle, and it becomes ready to see how the STD risk might be a bit overstated.

    Personally, I feel safer having sexual intercourse with someone willing to engage in the level of open communication poly requires than someone not so inclined, as much of the general populace is, but that’s my opinion.

  • Bernardo

    From the Guttmacher Institute: https://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/journals/3122899.html

    “Several factors affect the chance that an individual will encounter an infected sexual partner and, if so, become infected with an STD. Some are biological and epidemiologic, such as the prevalence of particular STDs in communities, the STD status of partners, the ease with which specific organisms are transmitted, the effectiveness and availability of medical treatment and the susceptibility of uninfected partners. Some are behavioral, such as multiple sexual partners, the type of sexual intercourse or behavior practiced, and the use of a condom or some other protective measure. The more sexual partners a person has, the greater his or her likelihood of encountering a partner who is infected with and may transmit an STD. “

  • Brianna

    So, you’ve been monogamous your entire life, to only one partner ever, who was also only with you? Serial monogamists have the same risk based on numbers in my experience.

    Concurrent sexual relationships always come with risk-aware practices for me, which is all anyone can do.

  • Apel Mjausson

    Polyamory differs from adultery in that it requires the informed consent of all parties. Keeping that in mind, your first sentence is just plain wrong.

  • dmj76

    Lots of people care about morality. Look how popular Michael Sandel’s wondeful course “Justice” is. Look at people like Simon Blackburn, etc.

  • Ben in oakland

    No, my first sentence actually agrees with you. They condone it for themselves, not for others.

    Ethical polyamory certainly requires informed consent of all parties. Adultery is just unethical polyamory.

  • Scott

    In the context of polyamory, informed consent means that a partner in intimate relationship supports their partner pursuing additional intimate relationships. That is, they know about it, AND they at least consent.
    Thus, within the polyamorous community, “ethical” is part of the definition, so your example preacher would not find acceptance as a polyamorist. Furthermore, if an individual’s interest in non-monogamy is restricted to sexual adventure without emotional connection, their intent falls outside of “polyamory” – which polyamorists generally will stipulate requires at minimum a general *openness* to multiple emotional, romantic connections. and commitments.

  • Scott

    Certainly the last sentence is true, so the only way to be sure to avoid sexual transmission of an infection is to avoid sexual activity with others. Now, most of us don’t want celibacy so we’ll engage in activity with one other we are sure is free of infection and sexually faithful.

    How did we decide the one partner was no risk, or acceptable risk? Maybe they got tested? Would not the same process suffice for other potential partners, and their other partners?

  • Scott

    Brian –
    That link still has the problem of conflating (potentially ethical) sexual non-monogamy with polyamory. I do agree it’s interesting, though not surprising, how the attitude breaks according to “importance of religion” for the respondent (not surprising due to my assumption of prevailing Judeo-Christian mores in the population surveyed)

  • Scott

    Indeed, Brianna, on disagreement with the article’s definition of polyamory. It’s also important to note as you have that polyamory does not depend on sexual interest – there are asexual polyamorists, and also demi-sexuals, for whom sexual interest depends upon emotional involvement.

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  • Voce

    Have you had more than one sexual partner, two? If you’ve had more than 2 you have me beat as a Polyamorous person in two relationships. Just as there are monogamous people who aren’t comfortable sleeping with many people so are their polyamorous. Poly is just a relationship style… it doesn’t mean anything more over arching than that we love more than just one person and want them romantically. Do most poly people have more sex than me… probably but then so do most of my mono family and friends.

  • Oz

    No, polyamory is DEFINED by that consent. Without it, it isn’t polyamory at all. It’s just called “cheating”, and polyamorists despise a cheater.

  • Oz

    It’s not equitable now. Maybe fix that first.

  • Oz

    Which works great, because nobody ever cheats! Yay!

  • Bernardo

    “God” bless those who practice monogamy or similar life styles since they keep our health insurance premiums low.

  • James Smith

    Of course they think it is alright. When there is no objective moral standard then everything is “on the table.” Bestiality will be the next domino to fall. Twenty years tops and this nation will crumble onto the ash heap of history. The epitaph of the great American Republic: “They thought they were God.”

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